I whine today, have u??

I've Got A Feeling...

2009-09-13T12:47:00.003+08:00

A great continuation to the above title would be...to sing the rest of the line of Black Eye Peas' song that goes... "I've got a feeling, that tonight is gonna be a good night". But that's not what it is for me.

I've been feeling quite disturbed these past few days, and I'm seeking for answers to comfort this uneasy feelings.

Have you ever felt that your instincts are really trying to tell you something, but you just can't figure what it is?

Have you ever felt like there's always something that's missing from your flavour of life?

Have you ever felt like you're unhappy about something but you just don't want to acknowledge it?

Did you ever ask yourself: when is enough, is really enough?

Do you always know what always matters to you more, or most?

Have you ever wondered how your life would be without your loved ones?

Have you ever had that slight feeling that you're being cheated/fooled/lied to?

Have you ever wished that some things should have just never happened in your life?

Can money buy love?

Did you always acknowledge your faults, and admit that you're wrong?

Have you ever hurt the people around you without knowing that you did?

What actually makes you happy? So that at the end of the day, you can lie down in your bed and say "I've done it right this time. Thank You God."

Can you bear losing something dear to you?

Would you do anything to save everything?

Do you want to know if someone is mad at you?

Sigh. Can life be less complicated sometimes? I wonder.

The Lost Entry

2009-08-06T23:19:00.002+08:00

I realized that my last entry was in June. And it's now August (thank God it's still in the same year). Have I been busy? Well not really. To say that work was eating up my time, hmmm not at all. It was just laziness I guess.

OK, so what's new? Not in sequence of order:

Ayriss turned 1 on 15 June 2009! Woohoo! Pictures as usual were uploaded on FB.
I played futsal with the girls from the office, and I sprained my ankle real bad. My ankle was swollen for about a week and it looked fat! I went to SJMC ER, spent 3 hours (including waiting time) doing X-ray and being pushed back and forth from ER to the Specialist wing on a wheelchair. Doc said that I had torn ligament!
I've been given a new portfolio at work.
Received a salary increment but it wasn't great. I blame the economy turmoil! But I'm still grateful that at least I got something.
Failed in my exercise/diet attempt. Sheeshhh...bila nak berjaya nie?
I'm paranoid with the H1N1 outbreak. Ya Allah, jauhkanlah wabak penyakit itu daripada ku dan juga ahli2 keluragaku.

Would love to type more but I'm very sleepy...

Until the next time. I'll be back with a longer update.

Losing Weight

2009-06-05T10:56:00.003+08:00

About a year ago around this time, I was heavily pregnant. I gained a hefty 13kg (or was it more) and I ONLY managed to lose 7kg, which leaves me another 6kg to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. But ideally, I want to get back to my weight to the day I got married. So from pre-pregnancy weight to wedding day weight, that’s like additional 5kg! In total, I need to lose 11kg! OMG! That if I really gained 13kg during pregnancy! Hahaha.

How am I going to do that?

Start dieting? No matter how hard I try dieting, it just doesn’t work. I’ve tried staying away from eating rice and carbs, I did the protein diet, I tried cutting down on my meals portion. Maybe it’s the wrong way of dieting altogether, but it just doesn’t work.

Exercise? Hmmm gym days are long gone for me. I just don’t have the drive and willpower anymore. First month enrolment mmg la beriya pergi, beli kasut baru, beg baru, sports bra baru…after tht simpan je la dlm almari. Although I did lose a bit of weight when the time I went to the gym, but I couldn’t stand the after exercise fatigue. So gym is out. But what bout other forms of exercise like yoga, jazzercise, kickboxing? I’d love to do that…but I just can’t find classes nearby my house. So that’s another excuse.

Body slimming program? Does this even work? They squeeze money out of you, but results nya? A cousin of mine did go to one of the beauty slimming centre, she did the whole body wrap and all the other slimming treatments, she only lost a bit of weight, and months later, she gained more weight than what she lost. Not to mention that she spent thousands for that. Besides her, I haven’t met anyone else that I know who has been to the slimming programs. Yes sure there are slim ads that show the before and after weight loss models, but I don’t really believe it. They will do anything to fool the eyes of the readers. Advertisements are all about enticing people for things that are not really true. Plus, I don’t have thousands to spend on a weight loss program.

Weeks ago – I fell ill and I was stressed with few things that happened at work and on some things that were personal. I lost 2 kg in a week. But takkan la I want to continue being sick and stress so that I can lose a few more kan? That was one week of hell.

So…any tips to lose weight? That would help!

My daily fix

2009-06-04T15:29:00.001+08:00

The tea lady was on half day leave today. She wasn’t in in the morning. Everybody went berserk like… “Mana ah-yong? Nak kopi!!!”. “Naper ah-yong cuti? Sapa nak wat air?”.

In the afternoon at 3pm, I heard the sound of Ah-Yong’s trolley. I was like… “Ah yong dtg!!!”. And everyone else was like…

“Ha, yong…ingat u takde dtg. Byk haus woh”
“Yong, baru masuk ka?”
“Takda minum Yong punya kopi tak boleh buat kerja la pagi”
“Yong, mana u pegi? U takda byk susah la”.

You see, her presence cheers us up. We all cannot focus in the morning when she didn’t fix us our morning drinks. We are all just plain lazy to walk downstairs to buy coffee/tea at the café, very lazy to take the lift to go to pantry and fix our own coffee. We are so dependent on her. Aren’t we all so spoilt?

Wanting to be a SuperMom

2009-06-02T16:53:00.000+08:00

I know I should not be making excuses about why I have not been blogging. Truth is, I don’t even know if anyone ever reads this.

But I see my blog as a place for me to leash things that are boiling inside me. Sometimes it’s personal, sometimes it’s just plain whining.

You know, of late, I have this feeling inside me that I don’t want to do anything in my life. I just want to stay quietly at home and enjoy my time with my mini me. I feel sad when I have to leave her in the morning to go to work. I feel sad at work when I know I’m missing out on her everyday developments. Like I may not be the first to hear her say “mummy”, or see her takes her first steps, or see her facial expressions. Those things matter to me, and I feel less of a mother when I cannot be there for her every first things.

Some say, take a break from work. Wow I love that idea. But when I’m ready to come back to work in say…2-3 years time, what if I’ve missed out on my own career development? I don’t want to have the same position as I did before I quit. To add more salt to the wound, the economic turmoil now is worrying. Some have lost their jobs and many others are fighting to keep theirs. I know I have to be thankful for the blessings I have in my life for now, quitting now is not an option. But what about my baby? She needs me. I need to be with her. I’m cutting hours at work as much as I can, bringing work home, work at nights, but that would leave me feeling so tired the next day. Sometimes I wish I can be a supermom. I want to be a career woman. I want to be the mother than can focus on her child all the time. I want to be able to still do the house chores and be like other housewives who cook for their husbands. I want to have it all, but I guess, I can’t, can I?

2009-04-16T15:52:00.003+08:00

How time flies. I’m now in my 5th month of my new job, and…. I’ll leave it to that. Make speculations – whatever. I’m not telling.

My little doll turned 10 months old yesterday. She’s growing well, eats well, poops a lot, plays a lot, sleeps a little during the day, and still sucks on her pacifier. She can go sucking her pacifier whole night long sampai air liur jadi kering around her lips. She’s also a self-determined baby…can see that when she wants something, she’d scream until she gets it! Whoa baby girl…where did you learn that from?

Showing off her tummy. A proof that she eats well.

Her favorite sleeping style.

Her other favorite sleeping style. No wonder I dont have any space to sleep at night.

Oh...her famous sleeping style.

Her 2 front teeth have grown…and she bites!

See, how determined her face is.

She has yet to start crawling on her knees…but she does the soldier crawl real fast. Yesterday evening she was asleep in front of the TV in the living room, and the door bell rang. I got up and walked to the door to see who it was. And 2 minutes later when I turned my back, she was 5m behind me chasing after me. And her pacifier was still tight in her mouth. She looked like Maggie Simpson.

"Mummy, let me out!!!"

When she’s in her walker, she does a 20m zoom in 2 seconds. She’ll bang everything with her walker. The chairs, tables, walls. It’s a miracle that her walker is not broken yet.
When she’s surrounded with toys, she’ll play with them for 5 minutes and then she’ll start to look for something else. Thing with her is…she likes to play with paper, tissue, cards and labels! Other than holding and waving the paper/tissue in her hands, she likes to stuff them into her mouth! Ohh yesterday I caught her holding a bunch of grapes with her two tiny hands and she was trying to stuff the grapes into her mouth. She also likes to bang her toys. She bangs her piano, her music table, so in the end I bought her a drum and a toy hammer.

Bang bang bang!!! Toy hammer not in the picture.

She’s my key to happiness. She makes me forget about everything just by smiling at me. Or when she crawls towards me and land her head on my tummy. Know this again and again, mummy loves you so very much.

Mummy-daughter picture perfect.

2009-03-30T11:35:00.002+08:00

I'm having the worst Monday blues ever.

But whenever I look at this picture, it never fails to crack me up.

Have a good Monday everyone!

Hehe.

I wish...

2009-03-23T21:51:00.002+08:00

I know I'm a disappointment sometimes. I just wish you knew how hard I've tried - trying to live up to your expectations.

Sometimes I wish that you'd think before you say anything, and consider my feelings too. I just wish you knew that words can really hurt someone.

2009-03-16T15:14:00.005+08:00

He left to the States last Saturday, my thinking orientation failed to work ever since. It’s like as if I could not function well without him telling me what to do. Shows how much I’ve become too dependent on him, even when it comes to the simplest thing. I hate being too dependent…and he spoiled me for being too dependent.

Ayriss and I moved back to mom’s place in PJ – since Ayriss’ daddy won’t be around for the next 3 weeks. We both missed him so dearly. I still cry myself to sleep whenever he goes overseas for work. Where as for the little one, for the past 2 mornings, the first thing she said after she’s woken up from sleep was “papapapapa”. Maybe she’s just mumbling to herself, she speaks baby language anyway. Sometimes it’s “mamamama” (but does that mean she was calling mama)? Sometimes it’s just her high pitch voice of “aaaahhhh”, calling whoever is near her. But I know she misses her daddy as whenever I show her videos that her daddy earlier recorded (just for the purpose of showing the video to Ayriss in his absence), she would jilat the phone screen (maybe she wanted to give her daddy a kiss)?

Boss is serving her last few days in the office. Up to now, we haven’t heard of who will be replacing her. I hope and pray it’s someone who I can work with. For her farewell party, I'm ordering cuppies from a good friend - Sue. I designed the cuppies myself, so she'll bake and copy the designs as best as she can. (omg aku ckp mcm aku ni pandai sgt design cupcakes, or macam la design tu cantik)

This is my babe in a mini cutie tudung. Comel tak? Many people asked if she was wearing a pink lipstick? No, she wasn’t. That’s her own natural lip colour. It looked glossy because of her air liur.

Wasting time on a Friday evening

2009-03-06T16:40:00.003+08:00

My face shape is square. Well Sandra Bullock’s face shape is square too. And she’s pretty.

I don’t have silky smooth hair. I don’t have time to go to the salon to do hair treatment or whatever.

I don’t have fair flawless skin. I don’t mind not being fair. But I do want to have flawless skin.

I have a double chin. I can’t do anything about this.

My colleague said my fingers are short. Short fingers are cute what…

My nose is not mancung. Can’t do anything on this one either.

My body shape changed significantly since I gave birth. I complain sometimes. But I’m not doing anything to get back to my previous shape. It’s just hard…to even get started!

Although I’m a shopaholic, I don’t buy things at expensive boutiques. All the expensive boutique items I ever own are gifts from him. I guess I’m just cheap.

I like to pay attention to other people’s dressing. But I don’t pay attention to my own. I guess I just don’t care about myself, anymore.

I wish I can be more talented. Like able to play musical instruments, or sing, or able to draw and paint, or take amazing photos. Let me just have one talent!

I want to travel the world one day. Like literally around the world. He promised to take me to places where I want to go, but when the time came, either it didn’t happen or he went alone for work.

Maybe when I was a child, I deprived of something and lack of attention. That’s why when I’m all grown up, I have issues with myself.

I get irritated when people say Ayriss doesn’t look like me because I truly believe she does. She looks like me when I was a kid.

Me...back in 1984.

Ayriss...in 2009.

So...sama tak?

2009-03-05T10:33:00.002+08:00

Lots of things have happened, and I somehow got lost in the middle.
The plan to stay at the new house has got to be postponed, when at the last minute, the contractor that was supposed to install our cabinets and part of our roof cover - disappeared! I wonder what had happened to our luck. It’s been a week that the 3 of us are living out of suitcases at Mama’s place.
At work, more unexpected things occurred. I’m learning how to deal with it, and have got to accept the fact that I may be reporting to someone I don’t like and can hardly work with. Why boss, why? Why do you have to go? Why do you have to go at this time when I’ve finally felt like I belonged?
The problem I have all the time is letting go.
I wonder what happened to those times when I could call my best friends just to bitch or yak and we’d yak and yak ‘til the cows come home. But over time, things have changed, and have we too?
I fear losing the people I love. I cannot imagine myself living without them.
I’ve always wondered if I’m remembered. For whom I am and what I’ve done to make a difference in other people’s lives. Sometimes I don’t get the indication that I am being remembered.
I rarely get along with girls that share the same star sign as me. But I do get along with guys with any star signs.
What is happening with the economic turmoil is alarming and frightening. I just hope and pray that none of us are affected by it – let us keep our jobs, and continue to be able to provide for the family. Tough times like forces companies to be selective about workforce, pay and benefit cuts.
My whole body is aching. Probably because of the tiny space I get every night on the bed. The tiny little girl that sleeps in between us takes up ½ of the bed space. She hardly sleeps in her cot anymore.
I so need a retail therapy.
I need new clothes, new handbag(s), new shoes, new accessories.
He’s leaving to the States next week for 20 days. Take me, take me, take me please.
I need to find a traffic-free route to work from my new home. Maybe I’ll go explore later during lunch. Ohhh lupa pulak tak bwk GPS.
Oh yes, I’m on a self-diet program that I don’t even know if it’s ever going to work. Is the weighing scale playing tricks on me?
I’m beginning to like writing entries in point forms.
I want to learn how to bake cup cakes. Sue, will you teach me?
I’m confused with times. My wrist watch is 10 minutes faster than my laptop clock. My digital clock on the desk is 10 minutes faster than my wrist watch.
I have a lot of work to do. But I’m just so lazy to start putting on my thinking cap and prepare the M-plan presentation. I don’t even know where to start.
They are putting me in-charge to organize the farewell makan2 for Boss. Little do they know that I suck big time in planning and organizing. Hah! And I claim that I have good Project Management skills all this while.

Moving Out

2009-02-24T14:52:00.003+08:00

We’re spending our last nights in our first rented apartment together. We’ve painted this place with many memories. It’s the place we both stayed together after we got married, a place where we held some makan2 occasion with friends and families, place where my friends would come for their hiding place from their partners, place where his friends would come at night to have guys’- lepak nights.

I love this place for its short distance to KL, PJ, Bangsar, Damansara as it is smacked right in the center of all these places. I love this place for all the neighborhood kedai makans, my neighborhood hairdresser, DVD shop (where we buy lotsa DVDs with discounts), kedai buah, kedai ikan, mini market….ahhhh just too many! Ohhhh I forgot to mention that this place has many accesses to all the highways within 5 minutes, and I rarely got trapped in traffic jams!

It’s time to move out since our lovely new home is ready to welcome us. The new house is quite a distant away from KL town, and traffic can be a…killer, I think. But it’s also a place that we could afford for a landed property and secured.

It’s going to take some time to adjust to the new environment, the traffic, the people, to get acquainted with the shops around here, pick and choose our fav spots. But it will also mean that Dolly would have more space to run around, to wheel her walker around the house.

As for me, I’d be able to have my own walk-in wardrobe, a gigantic dressing mirror, a customized kitchen – tho I don’t cook, but I love my new kitchen! For him, he’d have his kolam ikan, and his own game/work room, and he can finally use the mini lawn mower he bought! For all of us, a bigger home with ample space in a more secured environment.

I’m sad to leave the current place, but I’m also excited to be staying at our new home. Our entire hard work, hard earned dollar is spent in building our lovely home. We scrutinize on every little thing (material, price) for this house – what type of paint to use, what materials for the curtains, which wall paper to use, what type of wash basin to pick, the wash basin water tap, the lights, cabinets, shower screen, fans, ceiling, grills, yeah everything. The crazy times we went out looking for things we like, chasing contractors for quotations, contractors chasing us to demand money, arguments with contractors, arguments with each other (plenty), just to build this house.

Oh yeah not to mention the part where we need to chase the bank to release the loan, the developers chasing us for down payment, we chased the lawyers for documentation. It was painful. But now it has come to an end…and I’m proud to say that I kinda managed it well. Woohoo!

Pictures of my new home will be posted…soon!

Random thoughts

2009-02-20T12:24:00.001+08:00

1. I’d like to think that I’m an organized person, but according to my husband – I am so not it.

2. I don’t like to keep old receipts – thinking that why the hell would I need it anyway? It’s just going to be more mess if I throw it into my bag or keep in my purse or leave it around in the house. So most of the time, I don’t keep them. But the other day I wanted to get back my season parking deposit at my old office. They asked me for the receipt of the deposit. I went like… “owh oh”. Darn I should have kept it!!!

3. Hubby was packing all of our junks into boxes since we’re moving to our new place next week. In all of those junks, he found the receipt of the parking deposit! Yeayyy!!! But of course, I got an earful from him for that. When he nags, he’s worst than a naggy lady.

4. Since we’re moving soon, he gave me a task to find empty boxes – wherever I can find them. Shop lots, tepi jalan, wherever. He said that I would not be able to bring back more than 5 boxes home. I went out searching for the boxes for 2 hours. I came home with 17 boxes in all sizes from extra big to extra small. He was proud.

5. Because my husband thinks I’m not an organized person, he doesn’t want me to pack the stuff into the boxes coz he says I don’t know how to utilize the space. So when he packs the stuff at night, I’m in dreamland with Dolly. He he he.

6. Before I was married and in the days of courting guys, I would smile gleefully whenever I received their phone calls and text messages. And I could feel I was smiling from ear to ear, and my face felt somewhat burned coz of the blush. I liked that feeling.

7. This morning I had that same feeling when he called. My Sunshine.

8. It never fails to amaze me on how people at 50 years of age are still fit like a 25 year old.

9. I’m craving for Japanese food. The nearest Jap food I can get near the office is Sushi King. Well I guess that will do lah.

10. Today someone asked me if I was a fresh grad. I answered “yes, 5 years ago”. I hope that person only thinks like that because I look young (omg perasan), not because I suck at work (No, I don’t. I know I don’t).

11. They asked me if I want to represent the team for the bowling competition tomorrow. Well, if you want to lose the game, maybe I can help coz I really suck at bowling. I’ll pass. I’m happy to play netball and volleyball in the next inter-departmental games. Coz I know I can run and catch a ball or hit a ball – depending what game it is. Perhaps I’ll just be there to shout for you tomorrow and be a cam-whore.

12. I need to do work but I’m procrastinating it as long as I can. I just want the clock to turn to 5.30pm right now so that I can go home.

13.Oh yikes! I forgot! They organize a meeting at 3pm today. I haaaatttteeee meetings on Friday.

2009-01-28T16:42:00.005+08:00

Finally the internet connection in the office is up and running. And to my surprise, I can also log-in to my MSN! I hope they will not block the sites anymore.

My life seems like it is on a fast-forward mode these days. It’s like…wake up in the morning, go to work, work work work, come home, play with Dolly, eat dinner, hit the bed…and the same routine all over again til Friday. The weekend is mostly spent doing Project RnD. Reno and Deco my new house.

I went to the company’s palm oil estate the other day. Well it’s more of a drive thru rather than stepping foot into the ladang. God knows what I’d come across if I ever step my foot into the ladang. Snakes and rats maybe? Eeewww…

Anyhow, I was actually thrilled to drive myself to Carey Island using the map they drew on A4 paper. Unfortunately the GPS could not locate the destination I was going to…little did I know that the place was known by a different name. I was thrilled to go to Carey Island despite knowing that I don’t read maps very well and that I could get lost in the orang asli territory. As expected, I missed the turning to the Academy, and somehow I found myself at the jetty. And at that time I really wondered if I should actually take a boat to go across the island. Well thank God I didn’t, I don’t know where it would take me. One lesson I learned, don’t be afraid or shy to ask for directions when u’re really lost. Somehow I managed to get to my destination and I could not be more thankful when I saw the familiar faces at the Academy. Chuckles.

I don’t have anything interesting to share these days. It’s mainly my grumbles on the on-going reno work at my new place. Not that I’m living there already, but it’s just the frustration of the delayed work from the contractors, cheated by them, having to deal with their incompetence etc. I should have listened to my instincts the first time before we agreed in engaging them as the contractors! I should have known when they didn’t even take the measurements of how high I want the wall to be, the width, the depth! I should have known when they actually asked me and hubby to actually go buy the materials! And we did. We went to the factory of plaster ceilings to buy those ceilings and whatever not. I should have known…I’m always very good at analyzing people’s characters. I’d usually know when people don’t hide their flaws very well. But I ignored it coz I felt bad for them as they promised they’d do a good job within a short time frame.

On a different note, my little doll has turned 7 months old last 2 weeks. Here are her latest pictures:

Dolly in her butterfly hairband.

Dolly with her cousin - Alyssa.

Look...I can tie my hair.

In her fav. bumbo seat.

Picture perfect with Mummy.

Ok toodles.

World and the War

2009-01-07T11:55:00.001+08:00

The one reason why I stop watching the news and reading the newspapers these days is that, I cannot stand seeing the rising number of deaths in Palestine especially when it involves young children. Today in NST, there was a picture of 3 babies wrapped in white cloths lying on the floor, eyes opened but they looked so still. They were still coz they are now dead. I’m so disturbed by the image that I could not focus in my work. I’m sitting in the presentation room now with teary eyes and I’ve a presentation to conduct in about 10mins. I know I am nobody, but please, please stop the killing already. They were innocent human beings, they were babies for God’s sake! How did they have the heart to do that? How? Inhumane killers! Rot in hell!

Finding a way to escape from insanity

2008-12-22T13:09:00.001+08:00

OMG it must have been the nasi lemak that I ate this morning and now I’m so effing sleepy. It’s a good thing that my place is in one corner and no one could see what I’m doing. I really feel like going home, but I can’t do that here…or maybe not yet. No, I don’t think I can at all. Who am I kidding? Ni bukan company bapak I. Neither was the last one, but things were a lot more casual, and less complicated. Huarrrghhh old habits die hard!

Anyhow… almost everyone is leaving or has left for their year-end break, and I’m stuck here for the rest of the year. Yes there are many things to be executed, and I’m expected to lead them, but why oh why am I not thrilled? Sometimes I wonder if I’ve made the right choice. 3 weeks here and I’m already figuring this out? OMG…

I have this itch to go shopping for shoes and also clothes…but I’ve been warned that I have too many shoes that are yet to be worn…and I’ve just custom-made my work suits for over a thousand bucks. My husband asked if it’s necessary to wear suits. I was like…YA…nak lawan org kat Group, kena lah! Dorang eskyen, I pun nak eksyen gak. And now I’m beginning to think if it was all necessary. Not that I meet them everyday. And I’m out of “decent” clothes to wear to work. I’m not sure if there is a certain guideline on work clothes working in GLC. Whatever it is, I’m not made known of. Just the other day when I attended my ex colleagues’ wedding, I wore a kebaya and another ex colleague commented if I was wearing my everyday work clothes?! Sabar je lah. Anyhow, congrats to the newlyweds Sue & Zuhaizy on your wedding. You both looked good the other day.

Sigh…I’m depressed. Of what – I don’t know! Work? Not for now. It’s all within my control. And it’s not anything that I cannot do or have not done before. Just that right now, when I’m sitting on the chair as an end-user, the Consultants think that we’re all some dumb ass who knows nothing but to only wait for their instructions. It’s so funny when they talk to me as if I don’t know and don’t understand what they’re saying. It’s so funny when they try to explain themselves in trying to be more explicit and re-emphasize on things that are pretty self-explanatory. Funny, and damn irritating ok. Yes I was like them too…but I don’t over-do it. Maybe it’s just me lah. Maybe I’m the only one who’s feeling this way when in real life they’re just trying to be more informative and provide clarity.

I wanna goooo hoooommmmmmmmeeeeeee!!!!! I wanna play with Dolly. She now has started on her solids. And she ‘chats’ with us all the time, even when it’s time for bed. Then she’d wake me up in the morning with her fake cough sound. I’d carry her out from her cot and place her between me and her daddy. She’d dig our eyes, bite our fingers, pull our hairs, and the best part…sembur her air liur to our face. That’s my Dolly.
Ok, now I’m gonna go and pretend that I’m doing work. As I’m writing this, the others are excited in receiving a wedding goodie bag from one of the staff whose nephew got married yesterday. I got one too, despite not knowing who this person is. But thank you anyways. Bless you.

Ohhh…question. Is it rude if I don’t address the male bosses as Encik ‘their name’? Like Encik Ali or Encik Awang? (*not real names). Everyone calls the bosses Encik this and Encik that. But I’m the only who calls them by their first names, coz I’m not use to call people Encik. They say that I should adapt to the culture here, but I don’t want too. Why must I be like them and be in the majority? Why can’t they be more like me? That’s it! I’m definitely so not going up the ranks! Hah!

Let’s go back to being pretentious, shall we?

The weekend getaway to heaven

2008-12-17T11:10:00.009+08:00

I have so many things to say but I’m just too lost for words. Nevertheless, I’ll try.
I’ve been so exhausted since 3 weeks ago, and the short break that I had last week brought some excitement and was one of the wonderful experience I’ve had thus far.

On the 9th of December was my 2nd year wedding anniversary, but neither me nor him had planned for anything for that day. We both remembered about our anniversary the week before, but when it came to that day, somehow it slipped our minds. It was both our fault for not remembering, but it was also the heavy workload that we both had to endure at this end of the year when almost everyone is partying away. Well not a good sign for not remembering, but thank God for the pre-paid holiday we had bought way earlier – to be used to rekindle our relationship. That 9th of December of this year wasn’t a happy one when we had a fight over something stupid. Let’s just stay at that, I don’t want to dwell into this further, else I’ll end up looking like a panda in the office. But we both got over it and things went back as normal the next morning.

Last week was a short week for most people working in Selangor as there were 2 public holidays in the same week. So most people took the opportunity to take the whole week off. I just had to take a 1 day leave on Friday as I flew to Koh Samui the day before which was a public holiday.
I was worried and sad to leave my little baby doll at home. Ever since she was born, I’ve never parted with her for more than 12 hours. So going away for 4 days was really a test for me. I tried to hold back my tears when I was about to leave to the Airport. But me being me, I never managed to do that. I cried, and she sort of understood too. She rested her head on my shoulder and she gripped my hand as if saying “Mommy, don’t go”. Or “Mommy, I’m going to miss you”. Eventually, my hubby pulled me away and we were off to the Airport and left Ayriss at Mama’s place.

As I said, the Samui experience had been a wonderful one despite the wrong schedule of our flights to and fro, and got stopped by the Thai police when we were ‘rempit-ing’ away around the island on our rented motorbikes with no helmets. It was a hilarious experience getting a ticket in a foreign country and the whole process of explaining why we had no money and passports with us physically then, hence we could not pay the fine. Then there was a time when NK (a friend of ours that went along with us) crashed into parked motorcycles in front of a club when he tried to park his own bike. Whilst he was alright, I could not stop laughing because it was just too…funny. And then there was a time when hubby accidentally ‘ter-slapped’ an Irish guy’s face in a bar. It was literally an accident as he did not realize there was a guy behind him and he raised his arms upwards – in a way to celebrate his victory on a pool game against me. And “pang”, he accidentally hit the guy’s face. Of course the guy got pissed and almost wanted to pick up a fight. But he knew it too that it was an accident, so he challenged hubby to a round of pool game – where hubby lost. Tee hee. But they became buddies after that.

I had fun. We had fun. I deserved this holiday coz I know I’ve worked hard and I do need some time to pamper myself too. I’ll definitely go back to Samui one day. I just hope that it won’t be too over commercialized when I’m back. I love the serenity of that place. It helps to take off your mind from the bustling city life.

Here are pixies from Samui.

At Subang Airport. We flew Berjaya Air. I looked really tired.

Arrival at Samui Airport.

Our room. I was calling Dolly.

Love the bathroom. So huge. But it doesn't look like it in this picture. But believe me, it's huge.

First night at Chaweng town.

The boys posing with the hats that we eventually didn't buy. The salesgirl was kinda pissed. Dah bargain cam nak mampos tapi tak beli.

The next day during breakfast at the hotel.

The hotel pool on the Hillside View. We stayed at Beachside View across the street.

A scenic view facing the Lamai beach.

'Rempit-ing' away on our bike.

Getting my temporary tattoo done.

Me shopping for beach dresses.

In front of Ice Bar.

Lunch by the beach.

Hooray!

Thai massage by the beach.

Chaweng Beach.

At Samui airport - check in counter area.

At Samui airport - shops and restaurants open area.

At Samui Airport - the departure hall area. We were given free refreshments, eat and drink all you want.

That's just a glimpse of my trip. More pixies on FB coming soon.

Baby talk

2008-11-06T13:57:00.003+08:00

If Ayriss has a blog...this is what she probably writes about...

******

Hi everyone. Today I decided to pen down a few words in this blogsphere (I learned that from mummy). I'm new here and I don't really know how this works. But I see my mummy does it all the time whenever she has the time. So I thought I might as well try. My mummy always said that it's never too early to start writing and enhancing my grammar and vocab skills. Whatever she means by that.

My name is Ayriss Rihanna. My mother named me after a flower - Iris. In Greek mythology, Iris means a messnger of god, and also regarded as the goddess of rainbows. But since she wants my name to start with the letter 'A', she changed the spelling of Iris to Ayriss. Though she knows people will get confused on how to spell my name and I probably have to spell it for them, but it's okay. It's not anything that I cannot handle. Rihanna was chosen by my father - who at that time loved Rihanna the pop/hot singer, I heard. Although mummy had a different middle name for me, but since she didn't want to offend daddy, she agreed with Rihanna too. Another reason why she insisted my name to start with the letter 'A' is because she wants me to be among the first to be called in class when I attend school in a few years time. She said that those whose names begin with A always gets to go first in everything. Besides my real name, I'm also known as "Si Kecil", "Kenit", "Dolly", and "ComelComel Masam". I don't know if they all mean the same, but mummy and daddy seem to be calling me with all these names interchangeably. Why couldn't they settle with just one? I don't understand. The other day I heard my aunty (my mummy's big sister) called me Tembun. But because I don't really like that name, so I didn't respond. Eventually my aunty called me Ayriss again. Oh yeah before I forget, because all of my cousins' names also start with A, wait let me name them so that I remember...Aliff, Aqil, Azim, Adam, Alma, Alyssa, Alya and Amer...that is also a reason why mummy wants my name to start with 'A'...so that I won't feel left out when I play with my cousins. They are all little people like me. Except for the boys...I think they are a bit strong for me.

I was born on June 15th, which was on Father's Day this year. I was also born a week before mummy's birthday. I was born 2 weeks early than my due date. Not because I didn't want to stay in mummy's womb longer, but I had to get out. I was growing bigger and bigger, and I was afraid that mummy's tummy could not stretch further...so I decided to do her a favor by coming out early. Good thing that both mummy & daddy were prepared for early labour, they were quite cool the night mummy was admitted to the labour room. Mummy was a tough lady...she endured the labour pain for 12 hours! Is that a long time in adult's definition? I don't really know coz I have not learned about time yet. I'm still memorizing numbers 1-10.

After I was born, I stayed at my granny's place in PJ. I love that house. There were so many people there and it was, and is still a happy place. I learned that mummy had stayed there for all her life, until she got married to daddy and she moved out. So...I have another house, but because mummy wanted Wan (my grandma) to take care of us, she decided to stay at Wan's place until everything was ok. At Wan's place, there were Atok, Wan, Makteh Na (the one who called me Tembun), her husband Pakteh Joe, and their children Adam, Alma & Alyssa who I suppose are my cousins. Oh there is also PakSu. He is my uncle, mummy's annoying younger brother. I don't know what annoying is but I think I've heard that word before...from mummy! He stays at Wan's place too. But I hardly see him because mummy said PakSu works on odd hours. He flies a plane. What is a plane? Mummy said that she will take me on a plane one day. I'm excited...although I don't know when that day will be. And for a little while, my Uncle Kem & Aunty Wis and their kids Aliff, Aqil & Azim were also staying at Wan's place. I wondered why they were there, and so Uncle Kem said that they were back here for holidays. They are actually leaving in another country, in fact in a different continent altogether. They are in...errmmm...Dubai? Yeah I think that is what it's called. Daddy said it's far...and we cannot drive there. And he said we need to ride on a plane to get there. Yeay! Maybe someday I'll get to go there. And take my first ride on a plane. Will PakSu fly that plane? I hope so. Oh my Uncle Andy & Aunty Rozee and cousins Alya & Amer usually came for a visit too at times. They don't live far away, but still quite far for a walking distance. What do I know about walking? I haven't even started crawling yet. Maybe soon.

Then after 2 months, we all moved back to mummy's & daddy's house, which is not too far from Wan's place, I think. The house is a bit small, maybe because there aren't many people living in it. It's just me, daddy, mummy & bibik. Nevertheless, I like this house too. I've already spyed on things that I want to break and rummage through later. Shhhh....don't tell ok. Hehe. I don't do much as a baby you know. I only do routine things like sleep, drink milk, play a little, and poo-poo alot. But slowly, I'm learning a few things each day. Just about this week, I've started to roll my body from side to side. Mummy was estatic when I did that. I didn't know little movements like that make her happy. Wait 'til I can run around, see if she can catch me. Giggles. During day time, I just lie down on my playmat and play with the toys that I can get my hands on. I don't see much of mummy & daddy during daytime coz they say they are at work. Why can't I go to work? What do people do at work? Do they lie down on their playmats like me? I was thinking to sneak into mummy's bag if I can fit into it...and follow her to work. But she always place her bag on a table that I cannot reach. Sigh... I also watch TV alot. Although I don't know what they are saying most of the time, but it keeps me entertained. Bibik makes me watch her fav shows with her...I don't really like coz I think the people in that show are a bit too scary looking. Their faces are so colourful that I cannot tell if they are actually people or clowns! But if I watch TV with mummy, she turns on to the kids channel, where she said the shows are fun, light and more suitable for my age. How old am I anyway?

I drink milk and that is all I drink. But in between my milk intake, I am forced to drink water. I actually don't like it coz it doesn't have a taste, but daddy says I must drink it! Only recently I had a taste of another type of drink...I think it is called fruit juice. Me likey! But mummy said I cannot drink too much of it. I don't know why...she probably explained it to me but I chose to have a selective hearing at that time. She also said that soon I can start on my solids. At first I didn't really get it...like hello??? And then mummy said that I can soon start eating! Oh yeay! Another new thing to try. I saw my little big cousin Alyssa eating porridge out from a Barney bowl. She said it's yummy. She laughed at me coz I couldn't have it...coz I am still too small in terms of age (oh please...you're just a few months older than I am). But in terms of size...she said I'm getting there! She also told me to try out the cereals, the mashed potatoes, and some other food names that I cannot recall. I shall just wait for mummy to feed me with all that when the time comes. How long more is the wait mummy? And have you bought me a Barney bowl yet?

Ever since I was born, people visit me alot. They are mostly mummy's & daddy's friends, and my relatives. Whenever they see me, they like to pinch my cheeks! They also say that I have michelin arms and legs. I hope they think I'm cute and adorable though. Everytime after their visits, mummy will always clean me up with baby wipes. It feels cold when it touches my skin. She does this all the time because she doesnt want me to get sick when a whole lot of people have touched and kissed me. She said that "you'll never know what they have touched before they touch you". Ok mum...you probably know better than I do. Sometimes I see little people like me visiting me too! I don't know who they are but I was excited to see them! We talked and gurgled in our Gibberish language and planned on what we wanted to do to our parents that night. Whether do we want to stay up late and play, or be an angel and sleep ever so soundly.

Besides all the people that I've mentioned above, you know, my uncles & aunts, my grannys, my cousins, I also have other uncles and aunts, and grannys from daddy's side. But I don't meet them all the time coz they live far away...in Johor. So whenever granny from Johor comes for a visit, she carries me all the time. I was told that I am the first grandchild in their family. So I got all the attention even when I didn't ask for it. One day, I heard my Johor grandma telling mummy that she wanted to bring me back to Johor for a month. I didn't react coz I simply didnt know what it means. But I saw mummy's reaction changed. She looked sad. She kept quiet and she brought me into our room. Mummy held me and she cried. I was sad to see my mummy like that. Why mummy? Why did you cry? Then again my Johor gradma asked mummy again that same question. I was hoping for mummy to say something...but she took her time. I think she forced herself to smile and said politely that she couldn't part with me even for a little while...and she definitely thinks that a month is impossible. So in the end, I stayed. I think granny was upset too, but I think it was for the best. Sorry granny. At this time, I just want to be with mummy & daddy.

Ok...I think I'll stop here. I'm kind of tired. And it's my feeding time anyway. My tummy is growling. Until the next time. I should be back with more stories and update you on new things and tricks that I learn. Bye-bye.

Love, Ayriss.

2008-11-05T16:56:00.003+08:00

People ask me if my life has changed after having a baby…yes it has changed tremendously, and I am so tremendously happy. It’s a good change, for me. No more late nights with friends. No more short weekend getaways with girl friends (or maybe I’ll do that when I don’t feel guilty leaving the little one at home). And even to the movies…would you believe me if I say my last visit to the cinema was ermmm I don’t know when but the last movie I watched at the cinema was Transformers! So yeah…hell it was like a long time ago.

When I look at those happy hour photos of my friends on FB…I wonder if I can still do that. Is it wrong for me to go out partying still? But I guess the question is…do I still want to go out partying mad like that.

Every now and then I see photos of my friends carrying the latest designer bags, or with their new do’s, or with their latest dresses…and I thought I’d feel bad for myself for not being able to do the same…but truth is…I don’t really care. I’d wear whatever clothes I have in my closet, most of them don’t fit anyway, but to my surprise, I’m ok with it. My hair which I highlighted soon after I finished my confinement is right now in dire need for a steam treatment, or even a haircut, but I kept tying my hair in a bun so that the dry ends wont show, and I still look neat in my own eyes. I’m still carrying the same bag I was carrying a year ago and never bothered to change. All I care about is whether I have enough cash in my purse to buy food, pay for parking and most importantly, to buy things for my little one.

When it comes to the little one, I don’t skimp. Not even for her diapers or baby wash gels. I want her to get the best of everything. I want her to wear nice pretty clothes. I want her to look good in all the good stuff. Mummy will try not to skimp for you. Mummy has started saving for your education plan and your health plan. Mummy wants you to have the best medical coverage and go to the finest school when you grow up. All because mummy loves you.

My daily conversation/thoughts revolve around…what my baby can do already? Or can she start on her solids yet?. Or where to get all the baby gadgets from? Where do I get the bumbo seat from? Where can I buy this and that? What happens if my baby doesn’t roll yet at the age of 5 months? Why are there dry rashes on her back? Can I start giving her drink fruit juices already? Did she poo today? How many hours of sleep did she get during the day? Did she cry? Are her fingernails long already?

Everything is about her now…and I don’t mind it at all. I want her to be healthy. To be a happy baby. When she’s all that, I’m happy. And I’m even happier when she giggles whenever I play with her. Having to hold her in my arms…blissful. Having her in my life…priceless!

And this is my precious little one...giggling with her soft toys. =)

Wishful Thinking

2008-11-04T11:41:00.002+08:00

Dear Soulmate,

Just a thought. If you ever get the opportunity to go work overseas for a seccondment, let's just take it. Thought it would be nice to go places...and for me to be a stay home mom for a while. But can you request not to be sent to a suicidal place? Why do they want to send you to places like that anyway?

Sigh.

keeping busy

2008-10-09T17:28:00.001+08:00

It’s another boring day at work today, so I spent most of my time reading back all of my older posts. I’ve missed and didn’t even realize that there were some comments left for certain posts. So to reply back to some comments:

Chi: referring to your comment for this post:
Yes adik I yang dulu selalu lepak cyber café and perasan nak jadi rock-star tuh dah jadi pilot sekarang. Yes he has a gf…the last time I checked.
Puteri: referring to your comment for this post:
I have not tried the fish spa to this day. Don’t even know if I will. The horrid image of piranha attack keeps playing in my mind.

Hubby emailed me today and asked me to teach him how to create pie charts and bar graphs using Excel. This is the only thing that I can tease him for not knowing it all. I even played pranks on him last time where I auto-corrected certain common/often used words for word docs in his laptop. Example: like the word “the”…so commonly used in every phrase kan. So what I did was I auto-corrected the word “the” to “I’m sexy”, so that when he’d type the word “the”, it’d come out as “I’m sexy”. Get it? I still remember I did that prank before his business trip to LA but I forgot to un-do the auto-correct. So then one night, he called me from LA and told me bout how his laptop was being funny when he typed certain words but didn’t come out as what he wanted and that he thought it was a virus! I couldn’t stop laughing, and I had to teach him through the phone on how to un-do the auto-correct. It took him a while to understand what exactly I was talking about and that funny joke turned into a real bad joke in the end coz he was pissed that he didn’t know how to correct it back. I never messed with his laptop since then. But every now and then I tease him about it and how he should go for Learning Computer 101. But he’ll always mock me back for not comprehending the meaning and rules of an independent life or what he’d like to call titian hidup.

Oh it’s almost 6pm! Baby doll is waiting for me to come home and nibble her ear. Baby doll is getting cheekier everyday. Last nite, she peed on our bed. But mommy still loves you dearly.

2008-10-07T15:26:00.001+08:00

I tripped and fell while crossing the road today. Thanks to the slippery road in front of Tunes Hotel. Malu giler ok. And not that anyone offered me to get up anyway! Kenapa eh? But whatever it is, this is not my first trip and fall incident while crossing the road. The last time I had a trip and fall accident was years ago, and I was with some friends then so I didn’t feel that embarrassed coz they were there to cover it up. But today since I was alone, the embarrassment was indescribable.

Anyhow, I was at the bank during lunch time today and I had to wait for 30mins for my number to be called…and there weren’t even that many people in the bank pun! There were barely 10 people in the bank and there were 6 counters, but only 2 counters je that were actually being used. The other four tu buat apa? Of course I got pissed coz the bank officers behind those 4 counters buat dek je. So I approached one of them and told them that I was in a hurry to go back to the office and need to do my banking transaction now, and the fact that it was going to rain so I really had to go coz I needed to cross the ever-so-busy road on Sultan Ismail to my office building. But the reply that I got was: “duduk dulu ye cik. Nanti kami akan panggil”. Then I sarcastically replied, “kalau 2 kaunter je yg bukak, sampai malam pun tak kena panggil lagi”, rolled my eyes, stomped my feet and let out a loud sigh. Yes I was showing tantrums macam budak2 but hello…you’re a professional bank! So act like one lah! Isn’t prompt service to customers are one of your KPIs? Errrggghhh…

My pants are still wet from the trip and fall incident.

2008-09-26T13:52:00.000+08:00

I’m not gonna write about my preparation for raya coz there’s nothing much to do pun. While I am happy to be celebrating raya with my little doll, I am quite sad that it’s not going to be at my mom’s house in PJ. Well what to do…it’s his turn this year. I cannot be biased, can I? He’ll hate me forever.

But anyhow, what I’m going to whine about today is…what I am going to do with my job!?! Ok, if you think this is going to be boring, you can stop right here. But I’m going to whine anyway. I’ve actually crafted pieces of paragraphs in my sleep last night, coz that’s when my brain starts working for some reason…so let’s see if I can express it well enough now.

My job, or my career is important to me. It is in my top 10 priority list. Some people could not care less what jobs they have, but I do. I’m picky.

Thing is…I love this job. I love telling people, quoting Afti “telling people what they already know, but in a more intelligent way”. I love consulting for the flexible hours, the people I work with, the freedom, and that we will always be in demand. But…right now, I don’t feel I’m being challenged anymore. It has become quite stagnant. Or maybe because I’m not being staffed in the right projects, I don’t know. But whatever it is, I’m looking for new challenges. And I’ve opened up my options not limited to consulting, but to become a practitioner or in other words, to do operational work. The word operational scares the hell out of me.

I don’t know about others, but most people that I talk to who come from the same background as me, they are quite skeptical with the idea of joining the operations. They say that Consultants don’t always make it out there because we’ve been brainwashed to a certain extent. Sorry to say this, but sometimes we do think highly of ourselves. Don’t hate me for saying that…but I guess that has been ingrained in us when we first start the job. So don’t blame me.

To be honest, I am thinking to move if someone makes an offer. I’ve been weighing the idea, the pros and cons, I’ve thought about it long and hard, deep and wide, I want to go. But then when I asked for opinions, I chickened out. I keep asking myself over and over again…am I ready to make that transition? It could be simple transition like coming to work early (like really early at 8am) – sorry my days just don’t start that early for me since the past 4 years – so it is a BIG thing for me. And also things like addressing my future employers Encik or Puan and not by their first names. And oh….using a desktop instead of a laptop? It is BIG! Some of you who are reading this until this far would probably think “what is with this girl? What’s the big deal?” Well it is a BIG deal for me considering that my work life has been in a certain pattern for the past 4 years. So if I am that comfortable, why am I complaining? I can only say this…I need a change. I need to step out from my comfort zone. I need to know if I can do other things than what I’m doing now. I need growth. I can’t live not knowing all that. So there…

So I guess, I’m going. But where to?

Photos in Yearbook

2008-09-15T22:00:00.004+08:00

Ever wonder how you'd look like if you went to high school back in the 50s/60s/70s/80s? A friend recommended this website to me the other day, and since I was dead bored, I tried it instantly. This website gives you the pleasure of uploading your own photo, and it transforms your photo to look like your ownself in a different era mode. All you need is a photo of yours without make-up, hair pulled back, no glasses. Upload the photo, follow the instructions, and you'll have a photo of yours in a different era. Try it out, just for laughs.

I tried uploading my own photo and hubby's...and this is how we could have looked like. Heeeeeheeeee....

Moi. I kinda like the glasses, kinda groovy.

Him. Hahaha...this is real classic! Somehow I do believe if he did go to high school back in the 70s...he would have looked exactly to be like this!

The Sartorial Interview

2008-09-12T14:35:00.004+08:00

Tagged by Sweettooth.

*Job?
What job? I’m a slacker. Hehe. Oh well, on my card it’s written as Business Consultant. I do boring stuff like analyzing, designing strategic frameworks/HR solutions for companies. Yeah ok yawn already.

*Best sartorial advice from your parents?
Hmmm…always dress appropriately? I guess that's what most parents would say.

*Style icons
Admire many, but no one in particular.

*Describe your personal style
Oh gosh, do I have one? Ok…I like it simple. Not too dressy, not too skimpy, not too lacey, not too bold. I guess I always go for a good pair of jeans, a nice fitting top, funky comfy shoes and a nice bag that can fit most of my things.

*I build my daily look around...
Depends on my mood and also occasion. Sometimes I opt for the real corporate look – the full suit with panty-hose and pump shoes when I’m attending client meetings, sometimes I wear it casual if I’m on the bench. Natural color make ups, and I always go for lip gloss rather than a lipstick.

*Personal Style quirk
Simple but girly.

*Favorite designers
Seriously…I don’t have any.

*Most cherished item
My black knee-length boots. Great to wear during winter…but of course not here in Malaysia.

*I feel best wearing?
Nothing? Haha. Perhaps my over-worn shorts and a sleeveless top.

*The first thing I look at in another Sartorialist’s outfit...
Combination of colours on their bodies. I’ll either go “Wow that’s nice” or “Ewww, what’s that”? Hopefully no one has ever thought of the latter when they look at me though. LOL.

*I always break this fashion rule...
Extra tight shirts in the office. > When I was still slim huhu.

*I never break this fashion rule...
Traditional clothes when I’m attending weddings.

*Never caught wearing?
Electric blue tops/bottoms/shoes/accessories. And blue is never my fav color.

*Most underrated item in menswear/womenswear?
A plain top that goes with everything and anything.

*Dress to impress who?
Him and the mirror.

*Shine your own shoes?
I don’t have shoes that need to be shined. So…no.

*Favorite stores?
Spade/G2K/Padini for my work clothes, MNG/Zara/Top Shop for their tops/bottoms, FOS for my pyjama pants, and Nichii for cheap tops.

*Your next “must have” purchase?
Something flattering and nice. I don’t know yet.

*I only buy __________ in Europe.
Errmm…I don’t know. Have not been to Europe. So don’t know what’s nice.

*I skimp when buying …
Expensive cosmetics with my own money. I usually get him to pay for it. Heeee… *smiles*

*I splurge on…..
Shoes and more shoes.

*Favorite item of clothing
Right now, it would be my Esprit black Capri.

*Guilty pleasure
No guilt in pleasures. Why should one be?

*Cologne, skincare
I like mild fresh scents – strong floral scents is an absolute no no for me. Lancome skincare products.

*Most stylish city (Milan, Paris, London, New York, other)
I guess New York? Just look at the Sex and the City casts. So stylish kan?

*When I was high school I wore?
Over-sized t-shirts half tucked in front with my not so cool jeans then, and a disaster haircut. Buruk giler…a real disaster.

*Sports?
I was indeed an athletic person back in school and uni. I ran, I high jumped, I played netball, softball, volley ball, I was also in the cheerleading team. But now if you ask me to jog, I’ll faint immediately.

*Favorite fashion magazine?
Cleo – only when I go to the hairdresser coz that’s mostly what they have! But most of the time, I watch E! coz it’s more fun watching than reading them.

*Favorite vacation spot?
If it’s a place that I’ve been to for over and over again, it would be Bangkok. Redang is nice too. But if it’s a place that I’ve never been to, I hope Europe will be it.

*Favorite neighborhood restaurant?
Café Libre in Taman Desa. Nice food, not expensive, not crowded. Friendly staff. And…my mum’s kitchen.

Am now tagging:
1. Dalie
2. Amelia
3. Afti

2008-09-04T14:44:00.000+08:00

Is it just me or today is exceptionally cold in the office?

It’s my 3rd week back at work, and it doesn’t get any easier leaving the little one at home. I’ve moved back to my own place after 2 months staying at mom’s place. And this is our 1st week back at our own place. I do get worried leaving si kenit at home with the maid. But I’ve gotta learn to trust her rite? I wasn’t at all worried when we were still staying at mom’s coz I know there were always other people at home to supervise. I even told the maid that the security guard will catch her if they find her loitering around in the condo compound. And hubby added that, those guards actually eat dogs on the street – just to imply that they are brutal?!? But whatever it is, the maid got scared when she heard the story. I kinda rolled my eyes at hubby and gave him that “what on earth” look…but after that I kinda laughed to myself. I wouldn’t even think of that kind of story line to scare someone.

On another note, I’m hoping to lose that post natal weight this Ramadhan. I’ve given up trying on my pre-pregnancy clothes and I refuse to buy new clothes with one/two sizes bigger (depending on material and cutting). I’ve also given up on G2000 – they only make clothes for stick-thin girls, although at one point most of my work clothes/suits were from G2000.

It’s only 2pm and I’m already thinking what to eat for breaking fast. The maid is going to cook for us today for the first time, and I’m really skeptical of what the food are going to taste like. Goreng sardine pun barely there until I had to re-fry it with some sambal. Ceh ckp je lebih, I’m not even a good cook myself.

And I’m just staring at Ayriss Rihanna’s photo on desk. I want to bite her cheeks! And her Michelin arms and thighs. And oh…kiss her neck yang masam itu…I don’t know why, but I can’t sit still if I don’t get to smell her neck. I’ve turned into a junkie hehe. Mummy coming home soon darling.

Mummy's Doll

2008-08-28T15:10:00.000+08:00

TV Ad

2008-08-28T13:51:00.002+08:00

I’ve always been a sucker for Petronas ads…and this year’s Merdeka’s ad from Petronas touched me despite the funny elements they put in. And every year, their ads never failed to impress me. Their ads have always been meaningful, and this year’s Merdeka ad is no different.

I’m going to start saving for my baby girl’s education.

And…perhaps Ayriss would drive back a super hot car labeled “For my super hot mum”.
Here's this year's Petronas Merdeka ad.

Happy Merdeka everyone!

Best Friend

2008-08-27T12:29:00.000+08:00

I cried at the dining table last nite when the conversation was about best friends.

I guess it all started with when my better half mentioned that his best friend is going to be helping us this weekend to move back our things back into our place. And I made a joke about the 2 of them – like how sometimes they both act like they are gays, and that they had a huge fight last year.

Me: Haha…I remember last time when you tak kawan dia. That was so classic and so primary school ok.
Him: Ah biar lah. People argue, and then they make up after that pe…You’re just jealous coz you don’t have that kind of relationship anymore with your best friend. You ada best friend yang ada best friend lain…and you and the other best friend of your best friend tak ngam. Selalunya when one person has 2 best friends, the best friends become best friends too.

Oucchhh…his words stabbed my heart like a knife. I kept quiet. And he got guilty.

Him: Sayang, naper u senyap? I silap cakap ke? I’m sorry.
Me: Takde apa.
Him: Ala come on la babe, I know you. When you say takde apa, that means there is something wrong. Tell me what’s wrong.

At that time, I’m glad that he knows me so well. He can read in between the lines. And tears were streaming down my face even faster.

Me: Well your words kinda hurt me. But I guess you’re right. I no longer have that kind of relationship with my best friend. I don’t know what happened. I don’t think I ever did anything to make myself distant from her (referring to my best friend).
Him: Well maybe she’s busy. But she came to visit you kan hari tu.
Me: Yeah, like after I sent her a text by saying “Hello stranger”.
Him: I’m sorry. Dah la jangan la angish…nanti mama ingat I marah you pulak.

I got up…washed my hands…and then washed my face.

He got up from his seat, and hugged me from behind and whispered in my ears. “Have you forgotten, you have another best friend? Me! You have me”. I cried even more.

He continued: “You can even sleep with your best friend lagi”. “And use your best friend’s money. Best kan ada best friend mcm I?.” This time I laughed.

2008-08-18T15:01:00.003+08:00

I can’t believe that my leave is over and I am now back at work. It’s been a busy 60days throughout, and everything in my life changed. My sleep patterns, my body shape, and mostly what I do day in and day out.

Last time, everything was easy. I only had myself to take care of…and oh yes…my other half too. I can wake up as late as I want, I can go anywhere I want without having to worry of anything, I can come home late, I can go out with friends, I can go do my weekly mani/pedi/hair wash whatever…and the list goes on and on.

Now…I wake up every 3 hours as the little one wakes up to be fed, I feel guilty if I need to go out and leave her alone with the maid, I don’t dare to come home late coz I don’t want her to not see me at all, and that I need to sacrifice my beauty regime for a while. Friends? Well they come visit…so can that be considered as my hang out time with them. But despite of all that, I feel so contented with Ayriss being part of me now. She’s my precious…our precious little angel.

I never thought that it’s going to be this tough to leave her while I’m at work. I’m so afraid that I’m gonna miss out on her developments everyday. Like whether can she lift her head, or when she makes another cheeky face, or when she makes cute little noises, or when she stretches her body with her cute face. I’m afraid that she’d forget how I look like since I’m not home during daytime. I’m afraid that she will not recognize my voice, afraid that she’d forget how it feels when I touch her skin, or when I kiss her forehead, her chubby cheeks and her pouty mouth. I’m worried that I’m not going to be able to be a good mother to her. I want to be there for her all the time. I want to watch her grow. I don’t even want to miss even one second of it. Argghhhh…the dilemma of a working mom.

Mummy loves you Ayriss, very much. Do know that ok my dear girl. Don’t you forget that.

Here's the latest photo of Ayriss which her granny snapped yesterday. Pandai jugak nenek Ayriss ni kan...

2008-08-05T14:58:00.002+08:00

It’s my second last week of maternity and I’m sad that it’s ending soon. I really enjoy being at home with the little one. Of course, she drives me crazy at night as she has gotten her beauty sleep during the day. She only wakes up to drink milk and she goes back to sleep. I wish she can do that at night too. But nope, when the clock strikes 11pm, her eyes are wide open and she puts on her cheeky face as if saying “come mommy, let’s play”. And she only goes back to sleep at 4 or 5am.

I’ve tried changing her sleep patterns, but to no avail. I’m just afraid I might have problems with MY sleeping patterns when I get back to work. as it is, I do have trouble with sleeping.

Anyways, whatever I do with Ayriss everyday is great. Everything is an achievement for me. It was an achievement for me when I bathe her for the first time. It was an achievement for me when I managed to burp her 4 times in a row (yes, this girl has lots of wind). It was an achievement for me when I finally managed to fix her stroller and car seat! Damn baby gadgets are actually tough to be fixed! Or maybe it’s just me. I hate reading instructions. I’m really not a DIY person. The father spent a good one hour teaching me fixing the stroller. What needs to be fold, what needs to be un-fold etc. He almost gave up after 5minutes. So imagine teaching me for an-hour. He says I lack of understanding the rules of physics and titian hidup. Whatever!

Next, it would be an achievement for me if I can manage to bring her out for window shopping all by myself. Grow up fast little girl. I love you Ayriss.

Here's the latest picture of my little girl. Fat eh?

2008-07-24T13:25:00.002+08:00

It's my 40th confinement day and somehow time passes by so slowly to my last day of confinement period. Time is evil!

Well at the very least, I'm eating normal food finally! Since I no longer pump my milk, mom allows me to take spicy food a little bit. I'm still trying to familiarize myself with the spice taste after staying away from it for the last 39 days. I can't wait to taste bibik's nasi lemak, asam pedas, gulai lemak cili api and all that. What would I do without good food?

BUT...makan, makan jugak. I'm still not able to lose the weight I've gained since pregnancy. What worry me the most is...I can't fit into my work clothes. Coz seriously...if I'm not able to fit into my work clothes before I get back to work...I'm doomed! Buy new ones? Berapa banyak nak kena beli la nanti...sob sob. All my suits, my shirts, skirts and pants...sigh.

I'm thinking to add on more days for the urut. I've completed all the 15 sessions by week 4, and I have another 3 more sessions scheduled this week. Perhaps the kakak urut can so some wonders before I get back to work? Yes please oh please.

Cheeky Girl

2008-07-18T15:06:00.004+08:00

My little angel's latest looks...

My Journey #4: The One with the not-so-good-food

2008-07-18T13:45:00.004+08:00

Today is my 34th day in confinement and I can't wait til the last day which is the 44th day. Let's just say...I cannot stand it anymore.

I'm bored with the food that are served everyday. If it's not fish/chicken soup, then it's steam fish. Occassionally there is ikan bakar...but it's not the juicy ikan bakar with sambal/kicap pedas, this one is rather dry...and bland. But one good thing, I'm eating vegetables everyday...lunch and dinner, without fail. So hopefully my complexion will improve somewhat.

The first 2 weeks, I stayed in my room, day and night. I never walked down the stairs, mainly because I was still weak. By the 3rd week I felt better so I stayed in the living room the whole day and walked around in the house for a bit. Then I had all my meals with everyone else instead of eating alone in my room. So that was when I got emotional when everyone else were having good food and I had my normal bland food. At one time, I shed tears at the dining table coz they were all having ayam percik and ikan asam pedas. Hahaha...ntah apa2 ntah...itu pun nak nangis.

Now let's move on to my weight loss program. Hmmm...I'm not too sure whether my eyes are playing the tricks on me or the weighing machine is. I'll wait till the 28th July where I'm scheduled to see my gynae for a post natal check up, and I'll weigh myself there since I trust that the weighing machine there is pretty accurate.

Until then...

My Journey #3: The One with the Post Natal Blues

2008-07-10T17:25:00.002+08:00

A few friends called and asked how I was doing? I said that the first 2 weeks were depressing. They had a negartive perception when I said I was depressed. They thought I was not happy with the birth of my baby (How can I not be happy? Please...that is so ridiculous for me not to be happy!!!). OK, so I am one of the many women in this world who suffered from postpartum depression after pregnancy. They say it's caused by hormonal changes, hence the depression. But I'm feeling better now, in fact I feel great (oh minus all the lack of sleep and good food), but I'm trying to deal with it. It's part and parcel of becoming a mom and also being in pantang.

As I said the first 2 weeks were depressing. But I dont really know what I was unhappy about. Maybe because they were too many, right from my mother being too instructive and nosy (she always always enters my room without knocking), to my husband had to go back to work when I needed him the most (oh and not to mention that he went to Jakarta in the 2nd week after I gave birth). I was also angry at my sister because she delayed in finding a maid to take care of her kids, hence she 'borrowed' mine since 2 months ago...and now the maid is doing alot more for her than for me! I was also pissed at some other people who held my baby in their arms without washing their hands, shaked my baby too hard, touched her head (ubun-ubun), called my baby "Hoi" (although in a baby language way) but still...my baby has a name! There were alot of times when I sat in my room and I cried for no reason. And I hate it when I was so depressed, most people were just being too ignorant.

Oh well, that episode is all over now, and I'm glad I am my normal self again.

My Journey #2: The One with the Breastfeeding

2008-07-04T17:14:00.002+08:00

Who says that being a mom is an easy job? It's even harder than writing a competency dictionary.

And who says breast feeding is an easy task? Until today I have not been successful at breast feeding. The only time I breast fed her when we were still at the hospital, with the help of the Lactation Consultant, or at least that was what was written on her name tag.

From the day Ayriss was born, too many people had taught me how to breast feed. So just imagine how many people had fondled with my breasts (and it was not a very nice experience if you ask me). If there were 10 different people, there were 10 different ways. But neither way worked for me and the baby.

So...I had no choice but to bottle feed her. Expressing my milk has become an activity that I can do with my eyes closed. But since the baby is not drinking straight from the "factory", I find that my milk is getting lesser by the day. I do give her formula milk to go with it, and I've had enough of people telling me "don't give up to breast feed", "mother's milk is the best" bla bla bla... yes I know all that well, but I could not provide that. At least, she still drinks the milk I expressed... So long as the milk is still there, I'll keep feeding her.

The episode of breast feeding was something that I'd never forget. The times I cried when she didn't want to suck, or when Mom was comparing how my sister could breast feed so well and I couldn't...or how did other people do it vs. the way I did it...OH MY GOD...I just wanted to scream at everyone who was around me at that time.

Well, Ayriss is happy drinking from the bottle, the flow is faster, and she's put on weight. So I'm happy.

My Journey #1

2008-07-01T15:52:00.004+08:00

I was told that masa pantang, tak boleh duduk depan computer lama2, nanti mata jadi tak terang. And I dont want to be wearing spectacles or contact lenses coz of that. So I'm gonna type this as fast as I can.

I mentioned that I wanted to write my labour story right from the very beginning. Well let's just say that I was still working and driving around on the very last day until I gave birth. In fact, I even went for a client meeting on Friday morning 13th June...and yes, I felt that contraction pain during the meeting. It felt like...I was having this mild period pain. While on a 5-min loo break, I called my sister...and I described the pain. She said that is the kind of pain so to say. But the contraction was not severe and it didn't occur every 2-3mins as how people would normally say it's time to give birth. I casually finished the meeting, drove myself to Mama's, had lunch and slept. At nite, hubby came and fetched me as I said I was scared to drive.

The next day, envisioning that I would give birth soon, I went for a makan2 blast, had all the things I wanted, complete meal of breakfast with my roti canai, teh tarik, then later had nasi daun pisang, KFC, and a few other things. The pain was on going but I kinda ignored it. At nite, we were going out for dinner and that was when I felt the pain was really severe and I timed it...every 5 mins.

He panicked. Terus tak jadi gi dinner. We went home, took my hospital bag, changed cars, and we were off to SJMC. Got there around 9pm, the nurses did their routine check up...and yup I've already dilated. I panicked. Mom & Dad were there after an hour. The nurses said that I've to be monitored (like duh, I don't wanna go home and give birth dlm kereta). So we stayed in the labour room the whole nite.

To cut long story short, I was in labour for 12 hours as I only gave birth 9am the next day. I took epidural for pain relief (but the procedure itself was like...OMG!!!), I felt numb immediately after and the next thing I knew, I woke up at 8am the next day and asked the nurse if my doctor was already there. Doc came at 8.45am, and they got me ready in position etc, and boy...it was the most scary experience ever.

I listened to my doc and the nurses and my hubby's voice to know what to do as I didnt feel the pain...and it took me about 12 pushes to get Ayriss out.

When she came out, I immediately asked... "it's a girl, rite?" I knew it all along, I just wanted re-confirmation. :)

I obviously cried. It was the tears of joy. It was like, oh I cannot believe that I've just a delivered a human being where someday she's gonna be like me (hehe).

I managed to glance over at him, his eyes were watery too. He gave me 2 thumbs up and he immediately attended to the baby. I heard him saying prayers and also qamat on Ayriss' right ear.

So...that was easy. I did it.

Next would be...raising her up. Together with him. It's the 3 of us now.

...to be continued...

I'm a MOM!!!

2008-06-30T14:06:00.004+08:00

Hello...

How do I begin this entry? Well...I've given birth to a lovely baby girl on the 15th June 2008. Conggo was born 15days early...and we've named her Ayriss Rihanna. So, everyone...meet Ayriss...

She's now 2 weeks old and this was her recent photo.

There are just so many things I want to write...starting right from when I felt the contraction, to the journey to the hospital, in the labour room, during birth, after birth and the days after that...the post natal blues.

But probbaly that will be in the next update as I can hear Ayriss's little voice asking for milk. It's feeding time.

Till the next time.

i'm a klutz

2008-06-11T15:12:00.000+08:00

Here I am sitting in my living room, in hubby’s baggy t-shirt and my maternity panty. Seriously, they are the only things that are comfortable to wear right now. Sometimes I wish I can go out just like that coz I complained way too much when the pants don’t fit, or I keep on wearing the same pants all over again. As he had always put it, “ala, u pregnant...org tak kisah la u selekeh ke apa”, when one night we were going out for dinner at Royal Bintang. He wore his Raoul shirt, jeans and formal black shoes. While I wore my sweatpants, a baggy top, flats, and the most classical style of all – I wore my cardigan inside out!!! What a “match”!!

I obviously did not notice that I wore my cardigan inside out...and he didn’t say anything either! It was when his friend’s wife whispered to me that my cardie was worn inside out. I was like...shit...camner nak cover malu ni? So I laughed to myself...and said “ohh biasa la being pregnant...always forgetful”, and I excused myself to the ladies. Not sure if he was embarrassed or not...if he did...I’m so sorry dear. Well you said no one would care I selekeh ke tak.

Another incident last month, we were shopping at MidValley and I told him I need to rest for a bit before continuing our mission for that day. So we both stopped for a short rest, took a seat in front of MPH and then he started laughing.

I was like...errr okay what’s so funny?
Then he said “you”.
What did I do that’s so funny?
Look at your feet. You’re wearing 2 wrong pairs of slippers!

I looked down...and dang...there it was...yup 2 wrong pairs! As in like 2 different designs! Though they were both black in colour, they were both flats, but one has got a flower, and the other one has a butterfly on it! And as usual, I laughed...laughed so hard until tears came out. Nasib baik tears, if baby terus keluar...how? While other people might have just gone home straight or buy new pair of slippers, but I continued shopping...and nope I didn’t buy a new pair of slippers too.

I wonder what other funny things I can come up with without even me knowing.

2008-06-09T15:08:00.002+08:00

It's 3pm and I still have not taken my bath since morning. One good thing about working from home is that, no one cares if you've showered or not. Perhaps I should just bathe at 6pm. Before he comes back. And I save water from bathing so many times. And considering that yes I do take a long time to shower...so today I can save water. Whatever.

I have approx 15 more days to "D" day... I'm freaking out...but I'm also very excited.

Yawn...I'm sleepy. Perhaps it's time for a short afternoon nap.

The Tagging Game

2008-06-04T14:12:00.002+08:00

Was tagged by Sweettooth ages ago, but only had the time to do it now…so here goes.

Senaraikan 5 hadiah yang anda impikan:-

Delightful and expensive all-paid-for trip around the world.
An automated walk-in closet that can match the clothes I opt to wear the with the matching accessories (just like the one in ermm that movie…the one with Alicia Silverstone in it)…aarghhh apa dah cannot remember. Malas nak google.
Lifetime supply of my favorite skincare and make up products
A holiday house by the beach at Mauritius Island? Complete with spa facilities and a professional masseuse?
Ermmm like win a lottery of RM 10 mil or more?

Senaraikan alasan atas pilihan anda itu:
Well it’s called gifts that I dream of…and I think my demands are quite realistic…although I may not get it.

5 impresi terhadap orang yang diminati:

First and foremost, polite;
Thoughtful;
Upholds family value;
Articulate;
Not trying so hard to impress others.

Perkara yang paling hebat pernah dilakukannya oleh anda:
Sometimes the simplest thing can be the one that’s spectacular. I don’t really expect to be showered with expensive gifts all the time. Sometimes, it’s about him doing things that I least expected him to do. Like rub my feet while watching TV. Or like cook me meals when he knows I don’t cook that well. Or like when he calls me on a super busy day and asked “how’s my other half doing today”? You know…it’s things that make you go…awwww…

5 ciptaan yang paling disukai (tidak semestinya melibatkan teknologi yang maju):

Dustbuster. Small, light and sucks all the dust quite superbly.
Remote control
Mobile broadband modem
Money?
Lip gloss

Apakah perkara yang paling dibenci?Can I name more than one? Coz I sure hate a lot of things.

Org yg terhegeh2 nak kua from parking. Perlu ke nak pakai lipstick dulu? Or betulkan tudung? Or tunggu 2-3 mins before you actually reverse your damn car? Be considerate la to the person who is “patiently” waiting for the spot!!!
People who don’t see things through completion on the simplest thing like wash your plates after makan (at home la, I don’t expect anyone to wash plates kat kedai makan), or hang your damp clothes rite after you’ve washed it and not leave them in the washing machine? Or tidy up the living room after kau dah terbaring kangkang kat situ dgn segala air kotak/glasses/mess you’ve created while watching TV?
Girls who don’t look after their own cleanliness (like wrap your bloody sanitary pad first before throwing it into the bin)?
Salesgirl/salesman who are rude to customers or not helpful when customers request for certain things…like Tanya size baju ke, or do they have the same top in other colours ke? Kalau tak nak buat keja, jgn jadi salesgirl la.
People who pick their nose in public.
Oh oh oh…org yg kaki menyibuk and suka up-kan diri sendiri.

So many more but malas nak type.

I don't know who to tag. Hmmm....

random things

2008-06-04T12:53:00.002+08:00

I had chicken teriyaki sandwich for lunch today. And I don’t know since when I’ve gotten so clumsy…I spilled the sauce on my baju. And it’s a white top. Its got 6 little obvious spots in yellow/orange colour and I don’t have any shawl or jacket to cover the mess. I am as comot as a 3yr old kid.

I am so darn sleepy!!!

Had to come to work today. Benci!

I can no longer drive (actually boleh la lagi tapi ngada2 je tak mau drive). So daddy dropped me off today at work and picking me up later at 4pm.

Doc said I’m due anytime soon. Sgt excited…dan juga sgt takut. I’m just counting the days.

I’ve gained a hefty 15kg since 36 weeks ago. But I’m happy.

My feet are swollen…and they look fat.

Today, I wore mama’s slippers to work (the kind yg mak2 selalu pakai, selipar gemuk tapi sgt comfortable). I don’t give a damn anymore lah. And seriously, I felt like wearing the baju tido kelawar je dtg office coz I find it hard to wear my pants now (tho it’s maternity pants) but susah la nak masuk kaki.

I just went to the loo 5 mins ago and now I really need to pee again! Malas nak jalan!

Hubby bought me a brand new thin and super light laptop so tht I don’t hv to carry tht big bulky office laptop around. I like!!!

I need a good long massage on my back. Must call the kakak urut to come to the house this weekend.

Ohhhh I really need my afternoon nap now. The past few days had been quite bliss when staying at Mama’s. There’s food all the time. I can take nap whenever I wanted. Got my sister to talk to…and entertained me with all the horror stories of being in labour. Made mental notes to everything she said…

Nak balik skrg!!!! Cepat la pukul 4.

2008-05-12T11:13:00.002+08:00

I can't wait for this project to be over. According to the timeline, I'm supposed to complete everything by the 6th of June. But from the look of it, it may not happen.

But the most exciting event is happening soon...7 weeks more! I can't wait for that day. See you soon Conggo.

2008-05-08T18:45:00.003+08:00

today i want to talk about "being appreciated".

more often i feel that what i've done is not good enough. it's probably just me who is going through this roller coaster of emotions in my current condition - with the hormonal changes and all.

sometimes i wonder if it's too much for someone to say:

"thank you for what you've done. really appreciate it"; or
"sorry i wasn't able to spend more time on this, but i appreciate your hard work"; or
"sorry i made you wait, but at the last minute, i was summoned by someone and i didn't manage to escape from that"; or
"hey, thanks for saving my ass"

i really feel...useless for being so hard working but they don't or just can't see the effort i've put in.

i feel...bump, when i've sacrficed my time to do something that i'm not even accountable of and i didn't get some sense of appreciation by the other person.

i feel like screaming when i actually take the trouble to wait for someone during busy peak hours, fighting my way through traffic and other physical obstacles/challenges, and suddenly the person just said "i can't make it and gotta run"??? wtf is that? if you could haveat least said sorry at the beginning of the sentence, i at least wont be so emotional.

i feel like rolling my eyes sacarstically and stab you when i actually voluntarily take the blame on your behalf because simply you didn't want to make yourself bad in front of others. and you didn't even say thanks for saving your ass!?!? gosh...u're such a moron! (well i'm not referring to YOU you, but to this particular someone).

maybe i should stop being so nice and go back to my nonchalant tak kisah style i once were...or was? sheesh i don't even know what's the appropriate term to use anymore.

This Never Seems to End...

2008-05-06T13:26:00.001+08:00

I began with high curiosity wanting to know what the hell it was all about.
I got my chance, I got thrown into the deep sea, I swam and fought, but I didn’t drown.
Because I always had that ‘safety net’ that saved me throughout.
I went through some joys, but mostly pains.
I got stretched left to right, front and back, but I was still able to get on with life.
And funny enough, despite of all that, I liked it.
Then I decided it was time to move on.
Find another place.
New friends to play with.
New things to learn.
I did. I found a new place.
I thought it was going to be different.
Boy, was I wrong!
It’s like…wherever I go, it's still the same old thing.
The only difference is that now, I don’t really have a safety net.
I got thrown into the deep sea, I gotta swim and save myself.
The help only comes when I’m really in trouble, gasping for air.
A lot of times, I just want to quit
I really want to be in a place where I don’t get ‘harassed’.
But I’m still in it. I’m still here.
I haven’t moved.
Do I like this? Sometimes.
Do I hate this? So much...
But I still stick to the former. I don’t know why.
I knew I had enough, but I’m still in the game, playing my best.

2008-05-02T13:49:00.002+08:00

it's been a very emotional week for me. with the stupid workload, last minute requests on the deliverables, and i swear if they asked me to do rework on my 5th draft, i was actually gonna say "screw you".

at times i felt i did a helluva good job...but when it got presented, they picked on the smallest detail and some stupid stuff that i wished i didnt have to explain. it really doesnt take a genius to figure it out. but as i was told and warned, be tactful and diplomatic. hmmm that is one skill that i really need to learn and improve on. even he says so... he says "u always come across as being defensive...u hear them but u dont listen. sbb tu la client pompuan tak suka u". i'm like...ohhh ye ke? padan la.... hahahaha.

other stuff...well Mama's place got broken into recently. and no one actually heard anything and we assumed that everyone got hypnothized. we couldnt figure out how did the thief actually broke into the house...checked all doors and windows, no sign of break in. could it be that one of the doors were not locked? hmmmphhh lucky bastard! so some cash got stolen, and daddy's watch. everyone in the family was un-touched. and that thief must have used a very strong mantra pukau coz he slipped into my sister's room while she was sleeping with her hubby and the baby...took some cash out from her bag. he didnt take the whole bag tho, he even didnt take the handphones, the laptops...

so when Mama woke up for subuh, she suddenly wanted to check on my baby niece who nromally wakes up around that time...and she was surprised that my sister's bedroom door was wide open. so she went in to check and woke my sister up...asking why did my sister leave the door open? and my sister had trouble waking up...until my mom had to slap her a few times (that was what i was told)...and when she finally woke up, she couldnt really remember anything. so my mom got panicked and suspected that something fishy happened, woke daddy up and also everyone else...and did a spot check in the entire house...and they were surprised to find all doors/sliding doors/windows unlocked and wide open!!! so that was when my sister realized that her bag was gone...not at the same place she last placed it...they went into my empty room and saw that the bag was there...with all the cash gone.

the last time our house got broken into was probably 10 years ago...and it was the same exact thing...no one heard anything...everyone was in their deep sleep...and took all the cash from our bags/wallets. even my tabung with all my coins pun kena curik!

sighhh...maybe it's time to keep a pet at home...like fish. they say that the chances of kena pukau is less or tak kena langsung with a living pet at home.

The "kid" in a 30year old man

2008-04-14T14:16:00.003+08:00

His birthday is not until the 1st of May, but I already bought him a birthday gift. Not that he asked for it already…but I knew I had to get that thing he wanted before he bought it first himself. Since he’s very much into gadgets, I bought him the GPS tracking unit that he so badly wanted.

I was going to wait for another week or so until I get my bonus (and I wonder how much I’m going to be paid for my last year’s effort)…but the longer I wait, I knew for sure that he was gonna get the GPS thing first. Besides, it will be a nice surprise for me to get it for him…considering the fact that I don’t really know much about all this high tech gadgets, and suddenly the dear and loving wife thinks ahead of getting it for her dear and loving husband. As for me, if I’m lost searching for a place, I’ll just get down from the car and ask for directions...and if the person does not know bout the directions too…scream!!! But guys being guys, it’s always cool to have a gadget to direct them to go to places…and yes, his sense of directions is pretty bad. So it is kinda worth it to get him that.

So he received the gift yesterday…and he was soooooo…darn excited and happy and shocked at the same time. It almost looked like ‘the kid’ in him was coming out to play. When we were out buying dinner last night, he tested the GPS device immediately…and we didn’t go that far…we only went to Subway, which took us 5 mins to get there…and the distance was about 3km only from our place…and we obviously knew the route to get there…but for the sake of trying that thing…we followed the directions from the GPS. Mengada kan?

This morning, again he used the GPS “to know the directions to get to his office”…when he had been driving to work, to the same office on every weekdays, for the last 4 years.

This afternoon, he called to say that he was on his way to KL Hilton for a meeting from his office. And I asked, “are you using the GPS to find out the directions?”

He laughed out loud.

That means yes, he was using the GPS…and also because I heard the smart talking device saying “drive 1.5km and turn left”…wherever he was at that time.

I rolled my eyes and smirked. Because you see, our place is kinda near Hilton. And going to Hilton is like going back home. And yet, he was still using the GPS.

He’s so funny.

And I certainly hope that this GPS will always be a toy that he appreciates. I don’t want it to be like one of his Playstation and control race cars where after 2-weeks, you can no longer see them in operations and only meant to be displayed besides being covered with dust.

I need a day off!

2008-04-07T15:24:00.001+08:00

I’m mentally and physically exhausted! Or does this only happen on a Monday?

Whatever it is, work is piling and I don’t quite like it. Yes, I know I complained when I was slugging doing nothing, and now I’m also complaining when I actually have to work like everyone else.

Right now all I can think about is to have a good long massage, to untangle my tangled veins, rub my tired feet, a gentle massage on my back (oh gosh my waist hurts so bad), to do manicure and pedicure (can’t reach down to my toes to clip my nails already), and to enjoy the beauty of an un-disturbed sleep.

Maybe I need one of those days that people call an Off-Day on a working day.

the missing luggage

2008-04-04T10:10:00.001+08:00

My last entry was on 14th March…and now it’s already April. What on earth happened really?

Well I’ve been really busy with work! Like literally no time to go out and hang out even! He was in London for a week…I did miss him, but with the tonnes of work and focus group sessions lined up in the past 2 weeks, I was practically a robot. Today, I decided to stay home and work…which we all know…I won’t really.

He came back from London a few days back. One of his luggages full of MY STUFF and Conggo’s went missing! He was pissed and sad. But I was more pissed and sadder! I wasn’t at the airport to witness how he had blatantly menyumpah at every Airport ground staff that day…but from the sound of it…I can imagine that he probably turned green. So the only thing that was left for me was a bottle of perfume which was in the other bag. Not that I don’t like perfumes, I do…but I still have 3 bottles of perfume waiting to be open and to be used. But I like the perfume that he bought this time around…it had a very personal touch to it. My name was engraved on the perfume bottle...and I obviously went like...."awwwww so sweet"...

So bout the missing luggage, the next day he called me to say that the luggage had been found! Yippie!!! Apparently it got lost in transit in Dubai. So the rep of that Airline sent the luggage to our place later in the evening…and now we have everything back. And I’m happy that I can rely on him in buying baby’s stuff and clothes. And I also asked him to buy pairs of nursing bras from Mothercare…instead of buying 2 pieces, he bought 4 pieces…and they all came in different colours! There was even a polka-dot bra as well…

I also realized something…he didn’t bring back his dirty clothes (not entirely tho). So I asked him if he forgot to pack his dirty clothes…but he said no. He actually asked the Msian Hi Comm ppl in London to courier his dirty clothes back to KL because there was no more space in the 2 luggage!

He’s so funny!

Out of Ideas for a Title

2008-03-14T12:48:00.002+08:00

No matter how much I say I would stay home and do work… I’ll never be able to do what I say, cause there are just so many distractions. I opted to stay home today and finish up whatever I’m supposed to do as I have deadlines to meet…and plus I gotta wait for the plumber to come and fix the pipe in my bathroom that has been leaking for about a week now. While I’m sitting here cracking my brains out in coming up with the core competency framework, I’m so tempted to lie down on the bed and take a power nap. Yeah rite. Power nap that will probably last a few hours.

I also have the intention to cook for dinner tonight but I’m running out of ideas of what to cook, as much as I’m running out of ideas in writing up the core competencies.

I’m gonna be working this weekend…preparing for the big event next week. To interview one of the most influential figure in the financial industry and I do not want to be stuck in the most major blonde moment ever, so I’ve got lotsa things to read up and prep myself. I also specifically bought a new suit that fits because all the others are tight which I can only zip half way or not at all. Some pants/skirts can only go up to my thighs. I just hope I can wear them again once Conggo is born. Conggo is the little one’s nickname for now. Conggo loves music. Everytime I put the headphone around my tummy, Conggo kicks and turns and swirls in my tummy.

Yawn…I’m going into my dreamland. Have a good weekend!

The One with the General Election

2008-03-10T22:51:00.000+08:00

It has been quite an interesting weekend for the entire nation, hasn’t it? What else if it was not for the 12th General Election that took place last Sat March 8th? As a responsible Malaysian, I exercised my voting rights on that day. And to my surprise, I didn’t have to queue for a long time while waiting for my turn. I was expecting to see some familiar faces at the voting centre, but nope, didn’t see any.

I had never expected that I would be writing about this one day. But somehow I felt compelled to write about this anyway. I’m talking about the obvious – Malaysian politics. I never knew I’d be this interested…I now wished that I could be a Political Analyst, since I now know I actually LIKE analyzing things. Well that is what I do for a living…I analyze situations in organizations and then I get to tell them how they’ve not done things right or what they can do to have the right things in their organization.

So the results of the election were a bit of shocker, eh? I never had expected that the Selangor state would actually fall into the opposition’s hands! Call me skeptical whatever…but I doubt (and I really doubt) if they can actually fulfill what they’ve promised for. But one thing for sure, I know I’m not the only one who’s feeling this way. But I guess, the rakyat had done what they thought was best (my definition of doing my best may differ from yours).

There are a lot of lessons that can be learned from here. A lot of things will be impacted following the results of the election. One very obvious thing was the drop in the market today. Swoosh! What other things can be impacted that can follow suit? Job prospects? Your privileges? Our future will definitely be impacted...in a good way or otherwise…I don’t know. What they execute today will have an impact tomorrow.

So to those who were actually eligible to vote but didn’t vote because you didn’t care…to me, these people do not have the right to complain later on. You had your chance, but you blew it. Too bad.

Dreams...dreams, dreams, dreams

2008-02-28T12:36:00.002+08:00

Last night I was teasing a friend who seems to be so engrossed with work…although it was 10pm at night. While having a hot cuppa the tarik last nite, she’d check her emails, her messages on her Blackberry. I was like… "chill girl…dah malam dah ni…esok je la buat kerja". I used to be like that too…2 years ago. And now it’s all history. I used to dream about work almost every night. I used to be a workaholic. I would remember what I had to do the next day, what were still outstanding. It's like, I'm constantly thinking even when I was asleep…so in short…I rarely had a beauty sleep…until I changed jobs.

Then last night, unknowingly, I dreamt about work! I woke up at 4am and the first thing that came to my mind was that song from Shampoo back in the 90s... "Uh-oh I'm in trouble, something's come along and it burst our bubble". I quickly took my small notebook to write the stuff that I dreamt about. Mostly the important discussion points that I need to tell my boss when I reach the office. And it was the first time that I couldn’t wait for the morning to come.

Crazy! My nightmare is back…

But despite of anxiously waiting for the morning to come, I still overslept and still came in late. Sigh. Old habits die hard.

The Waroeng Penyet Visit & My Very Own Home Cook Meals

2008-02-27T13:49:00.010+08:00

Ahh finally I made my way to Waroeng Penyet at The Curve last night. I learned about the existence of Waroeng Penyet at The Curve a few months back but I never actually went there to eat. But after I found out that they serve the Avocado Juice with chocolate syrup that I’ve been craving about, I dragged him along with me to The Curve.

I first tried an ayam penyet meal when I was posted in Singapore last year. Yes, they do have Waroeng Penyet in Singapore ( I think there’s one in Lucky Plaza and the other one is at Beach Road – well those were the 2 places that I went at least), but the ayam penyet meal I like most is the one at Changi Village. The sambal had more ‘kick’ and instead of serving white rice with the chicken, they actually served the chicken rice (light yellow rice) with the ayam penyet. And the soup was free…unlike in Waroeng Penyet, you have to order a soup separately…and rice separately.

But nevertheless, the ayam penyet meal in Waroeng Penyet was also not disappointing. But what I enjoyed most was the avocado juice or juice alpukat they call it. At least I don’t have to go all the way to Bali to complete my craving list. Tee hee.

Here are the pictures of our meal last nite.

Ayam Penyet. It means Flattened Chicken. The chicken is flattened (with a roller I think), before frying. It makes the chicken meat more crispy and tender - so they say. The sambal was quite hot and when I read the newspaper extract on their glass window, it says "Cilinya Menendang" which means "the sambal kicks" or something like that.

Bakso (beefballs) Penyet, but it wasn't really flattened the way I see it.

Sup Buntut (Oxtail Soup).

Ahhh the cool refreshing jus alpukat or in other words, the avocado juice.

Below are pictures of the dishes that I cooked last Friday. Initially I wanted to cook ayam masak lemak cili api, but I later changed it to Chicken Curry + Potatoes.

Before...

(L-R clockwise): raw chicken, lady's fingers, potatoes, boiled eggs.

And the end product... chicken curry with potatoes. It turned out to be quite tasty actually. Hahah...or maybe he said that to make me feel better. But it did taste good lah.

The Sambal Tumis Telur. And this taste good too. Hehehe.

Chilli fried lady's fingers.

So...doesn't look too bad kan... whatever it is, no one got food poisoning, everyone was full and we all had a good night sleep then.

can i cook?

2008-02-22T12:20:00.002+08:00

Today, I'm leaving work early because...I want to cook! Hahahah. I haven't been frying/cooking anything in my kitchen since the last 5 months. So we've been eating out since the last 5 months until we finally got sick to think "what shall we eat tonight". Actually to be honest, for the last 1 year since I've been married, I've only cooked 5 times. Terrible terrible.

I'm not a good cook really...but at least I make an attempt to try to cook. MIL and my bro-in-law actually gave me recipe books on my birthday last year! And today, I shall dig back the recipe books to see what I shall cook today.

So far, I what I have in mind:
- Ayam masak lemak cili api
- Sambal tumis telur
- Simple vege - hmmm what vege suits with the 2 above dishes?

Ok hopefully everything turns out well.

random thoughts in 10 minutes

2008-02-20T14:52:00.002+08:00

Been trying really hard to concentrate in coming up with the whole Talent Management framework but I’m losing my concentration very easily and becoming very forgetful these days. I can’t sit for too long, my legs occasionally get cramps even when I’m sleeping, I pee more than 20 times in a day, I have no comfortable shoes to wear, I worry if I don’t feed myself, I forget what I want to do, and I always forget to take the supplements! But other than that, I like the feeling of the little one kicking me. It kinda tingles…it feels like…the little one is doing an acrobatic show inside the sack. The little one kicks when it’s time to eat, and the little one also kicks when I’ve eaten too much. Maybe it’s a way to communicate to say “hey I’m hungry, so please eat something” or “hey I’m full, stop swallowing food down your throat already”.

I have a sudden craving for Nasi Kandar…with the telur sotong. But I can’t find any nasi kandar shop that sells the telur sotong here in KL. Only could be found in Penang. If there is any nasi kandar shop in KL that sells the telur sotong, please let me know. Here are my other must-haves-and-cravings for the time being:
- Ayam kampung and that gulai Kelantan at Kedai Tuan Faridah @ Puchong
- Tomato soup @ TGIF
- Loh She Fun @ Murni SS2
- Ikan Bakar behind Istana Negara
- Onion loaf and their famous rib-eye steak @ Tony Roma’s
- Assam Fish Head @ the kopitiam in Damansara Uptown (I think it’s called Village Park)
- Fish briyani (unfortunately the only one that tasted good was the one I found at Bangkok near Sukhumvit area)
- Avocado juice with chocolate syrup (tried it in Bali and couldn’t find it anywhere else)
- Mashed potato @ Chilis
- The original Char Kuey Teow @ Subang Ria Kelana Jaya (which I heard the original stall has moved to Jamal on the other end of the row of shops)
- Nasi kukus with lauk kampung @ Amer Kelantan near my office
There are more but can’t remember…

Was having lunch with colleagues just now and they were mentioning about this Fish Spa place in Pavilion. My first reaction was…is that a spa place for pets or humans? Apparently the Fish Spa in Pavilion is for humans and instead of the normal masseuse giving you a foot massage, they use fish for the foot massage. They use fish that is called Gafurafa (or something that sounds like that but I’m sure it’s not Garoupa) to nibble on your feet eating away all your dead skin cells. I raised my eyebrow and I found myself imagining a group of fish attacking my feet like the piranha fish in that movie – whatever it’s called la…Piranha or something. They say that for half an hour massage, it’s RM 38. ok cheap…but since I’m ticklish and I’m afraid of any animals (even pets – and yes that includes fish), I guess I’m just gonna pass that idea of having a fish foot spa. So check it out…just google it.

OK need to get back to the Talent Management framework. Boring.

The 30,000km ride

2008-02-18T17:47:00.001+08:00

I’m selling off my car…and I never knew I’d be this sad. I’ve had the car for 2 years. Its only done 30,000km so far – which is rather good for a 2 year old car. The car is still in a good shape, it has never given me any problems (except for that one time where something from the bumper fell off and I drove along Jln TAR with something tangling out from the bumper all the way back to PJ). Oh and the car has a slight scratch maybe 10-15cm long on the right side of the back door…thanks to hubby cause he accidentally knocked onto a road-side Ramly burger stall. Kesian abang burger tu…habis tergolek meja burger dia.

Although I’m getting my new ride soon, but I’m quite sad to let go of the old one. It has a sentimental value for me coz it was like the first thing ever (in the range of thousands RM) that I bought with my own money. I remembered I used up my 3 months bonus and some savings to pay up for the down payment 2 years ago. It’s not a fancy car really, just an adequate vehicle to take me around wherever I needed to go.

I didn’t have a name for that car. Maybe I should have named it. Anyway…you did great. Take care.

2008-02-14T17:11:00.000+08:00

I haven’t been blogging lately simply because I didn’t have the mood, I didn’t have anything to tell (actually there are some, but it’s mostly dry and lame). But today, I feel composed to write. Maybe it’s about time to write on something – even though I know it will probably ended up being a dry entry.

Life. Do you always get according to the way you’ve planned it? Or at least wanted it to be? Life works in mysterious ways don’t you think? You work towards something, but you get something else – sometimes it exceeds your expectations, sometimes it falls short. If it is the former, you’ll be struck with joy, if it is the latter, you’ll sulk. Life too is quite unpredictable. Quoting from a friend’s note… “Life is like a baseball game. You’ll never know when life is gonna throw you something unexpected.” It’s like you can’t always hope for the pitcher to throw the predictable ball. If you hit it right, it’s your game…if it’s a strike, you lose. Try again.

I need a homerun.

2008-01-15T12:42:00.000+08:00

So what shall we bitch about today? Sigh. I’m still feeling so meaningless coming to work as I had been idle in the office for like…almost 3 months now. People normally whine coz they have so many things to do at work and sometimes 8 hours a day is not enough to get the job done, but I am whining because I don’t have anything (literally nothing) to do in my 8-hrs in the office. People say I’m silly coz I should be enjoying this joyful-stressfree-moment and still get paid in full, but I think I’ve had enough. I can’t keep going on doing this. It’s driving me nuts. From a steep learning curve that I was so used to, I have somewhat descent…but I have not hit rock bottom…not yet…and hopefully never will be.

Bleghh…

On a more exciting note, I am gonna buy a house…soon. He & I have chosen a few that we like, so we’re checking out the sites this weekend…and we’ll decide by the end of our house hunting trip on the same day. We’ve calculated how much we both can withdraw from EPF and savings, and hopefully the bank loan won’t be taking too much time to be approved. And then…it’s time to start thinking of the deco which this is the part I like the most…I finally can use up my artistic creativity to use (yeah as if). Although I’ve realized that we’re gonna spend a lot this year…with so many things coming our way…but I know we can do this. The most expensive thing I bought for myself was a car…now a house. And I want to change to a brand new car lagi…deng…or maybe the car can wait til next year? Sighh… how on earth did my parents do it last time with 5 kids tailing them behind? Applause, applause.

I’m back to becoming a DVD junkie since all the new season of my fav TV shows are back! Watched all 10 episodes of Grey’s Anatomy (S4) in 2 days, Desperate Housewives (S4) also in 2 days, trying to finish up Heroes (S2) asap before I can start on Prison Break S3 soon. Waiting for Ugly Betty S2 and Brothers&Sisters S2 to be released.

End of another boring entry.

2008-01-09T15:07:00.000+08:00

Starting my entry with…I burnt my finger this morning. I was taking the toast out from the toaster and somehow my finger ter-accidentally touched the metal or something…so dang…now I have a red-bubble thing on my finger… so is this categorized as a 1st degree burn? 2nd degree? 3rd degree? Whatever it is, I told him about it…and he was like… “is this just an excuse that you don’t want to do any house chores”? Hmmm I didn’t think of that…but since he mentioned it, ok lah I can act like I cannot even lift a paper. Hmmm kata drama queen, so kena la be dramatic kan.

Anyhow…do you have songs that you hate but it keeps playing in your head…all the time? It’s not even an addiction coz the tune and the melody of that song sucks…but because it is over-played on the radio/TV, somehow it got stuck in your head? I hate it…it bugs me…even when I’m sleeping. Like that song from Teriyaki Boys (can’t remember the song title but it’s the soundtrack from Fast & Furious Tokyo Drift)…aarrrghhh I really hate that song but because it was so over-played…the tune got stuck in my head for ages…and I even memorize the lyrics (but the JJ and Rudy version of course – the rempit version). See…I hate it but I can still memorize the lyrics. Then I remember years ago, there was this song that Siti Nurhaliza sang on TV (also I forgot the title but it was more like a patriotic song rather than her usual pop/ballad type), that song got stuck in my head for the longest time…and the annoying part was…I was sitting for my SPM exam at that time!!! So the song was playing in my head when I was doing my essays, Add Maths paper…practically for every paper that I sat for. But the most annoying songs ever are from Akon. So to avoid his songs to be stuck in my head, I usually turn off the radio or change it to another station. Can’t afford to have anymore annoying songs in my head and cause me brain damage!

I’m so glad that tomorrow is a public holiday. It’s like the holiday season never seems to end. And then there are more cuti in Feb. Yipppieee!! I’m planning for another getaway soon before I can’t travel anymore. Not planning to go anywhere far…maybe Jakarta? Well of course I was supposed to go to Phuket this Friday but because HE has to go to Kuching…so he said let’s just burn the Phuket trip…coz we’ve already postponed the trip from October last year. I’m kinda pissed in a way, especially after we’ve paid for the flights and hotel (did I pay for it or did he pay for it?). Ala tak kisah la who paid for it…but I was so looking forward to go to Phuket, ended up tak jadi. Hopefully this doesn’t happen for the Jakarta trip that I’m already planning. Yes…I’ve got nothing to do so I have PLENTY of time checking out trip packages, doing flight bookings and all. But one trip that I will NOT miss and make sure that he’s not gonna miss it too is the Dubai trip end of this year. Die die also must go.

Huwarrgghhh…it has been a slow day for me today…all bosses are not in the office…so apakah yg harus dilakukan? Apa lagi………….. *yeah do try filling in the blanks*

Bidding adieu to 2007, Welcoming 2008!

2008-01-02T14:43:00.000+08:00

Well what do you know? 2007 has closed its chapter and now it’s 2008’s turn to bring on its best. On a global note, 2007 had been a series of events, with the flood taking away people’s homes, the fall of Malaysian football (not that I am a fan), and to the horrifying death of Benazhir Bhutto.

On a more personal note, on the very last day of 2007, I reflected on how my year had been and what do I want to do better in 2008. I didn’t go out for any New Year celebration – to me it was all over-rated. I just stayed home, quietly in my room, opening back my journal, looking back at all the photos, remembering all the laughs and tears, and watched Grey’s Anatomy season 4 after that til 3am or stopped watching when he came back from his new year’s celebration. No we didn’t have a fight, I just didn’t want to go. And he said it wasn’t great either especially for being stuck in the horrendous traffic in KL for hours. I just gave him the ‘I-told’ya-look’.

2007 was just an average year for me. Nothing much to shout about. I was still the same old person as I had been since the year before, only thing the marital status had changed, and also gained a few pounds too – which was not great btw ( I meant the weight gain part). So I had and will continue to have a constant friend that I can have my meals with, share my stories with, pick up a fight with, leashing out my anger at, gloat with enjoyment with, sleep with, travel the world with and do all the wonderful things with. Thanks, soulmate. We did great.

Career wise: I changed jobs at the beginning of 2007 – which in turn I’m still figuring out if I’m happy with it, I traveled for work, I managed my own projects, I did my own things without having someone senior to breathe down my neck, I made new friends at work and turned out they’re a great bunch of people to talk crap with, I had new places to go eat at during lunch, and best of all, I had all the freedom in the world to do what I want, when I want.

Family: Praise to God that most of us were top notch healthy in 2007. Hormonal changes don’t count as I was told. Whatever. There was a new addition to the family and the baby girl was like the apple of everyone’s eye, and still is – which got the bigger sister really really angry…but later she learned that she loves her sister as much. Finally my youngest brother graduated after struggling with what he wanted to become or what he wanted in his life. He’s now pulling a monthly salary that took me 3 years to get paid at! Damn pilots! But I’m proud of him…I shed a tear when I saw him in his pilot uniform. I didn’t think he was gonna make it. But he did. Thanks for proving me wrong this time.

Friends: Well, this part…hmmm sad to say that some of us were not as close as we were before. Things changed when each of us got married. Maybe it’s the marriage commitment, or maybe we all have changed literally. But however, we still hung out once in a while and it was great. I realized when it was just us (without our partners around), the ‘kid’ in ourselves came out from nowhere and we were just like friends on “Friends”. Those stupid jokes, the stupid act, the story sharing pouring our hearts out… I missed that.

All in all, I am pretty much contented and happy with how things turned out despite of some bad calls and bad judgment I made along the way. People say, we learn from our mistakes. And I can’t promise I won’t make any mistakes this year…I’m sure I will but that’s fine. At least that will give all of us something to learn from, something to be angry at (or even to laugh at), and contributes some sanity to our lives.

For 2008, I wish for a healthy and good life for myself and my loved ones. I want them to be around long enough to see me venture into motherhood. I also wish for a prosperous year for us, I want to be able to provide a nice perfect home, good food on the table. I want to be a good wife, a good daughter, a good sister, a good friend, a good worker and a good mom perhaps – well I just want to become a good person. Protect us from evils, unwanted events, unwanted bad things in life.

Farewell 2007 (I know it’s 2 days late but consider this as a post year-end speech )…so HELLO 2008!!! I don’t know what awaits me but I guess I just have to wait for what it’s worth. I’m starting on a blank page…and this is how my story had started.

2007-12-26T15:29:00.000+08:00

Ohh don’t you just dread it coming to work on the very last days of the year? Well I do! After 2 weeks being off from work (MC lah, annual leave lah, public hols lah), I finally made my way to the office this morning. It was an achievement for me to wake up at 8am today. He must have been proud, yeah right.

My routine for the last 2 weeks had been waking up at 11, shower, go to Mama’s place to feed myself, play with my nieces, talk crap with my sister, sleep, watch TV, wait for bibik to cook dinner, pack food and go home and have dinner with hubby. I know he wasn’t proud of me doing that, but I really cant help it. I’m in a stage where I’m super lazy to do house chores and tak larat to do anything (baju pun hantar dobi je or bring to Mama’s place and ask bibik to wash), then bring bibik along to my house and clean the house, and a lot of other things that I think if I were to mention it here, people would say… “tak payah jadi bini org la kalau mcm ni”.

Thank god the sickness is almost gone now. Been seeing my cool-rockish-looking doctor very frequent these days. Thank God there’s some amount left for my medical entitlement. What I like about being me now is that, people don’t question me why I don’t have the energy, why I don’t look so well and all that. And the best thing about being me now is…people do the things that I want them to do, for me. It’s like…no question asked, they’ll just do it. No, I’m not dying. I’m just experiencing some hormonal changes. :p

Besides all the things that have happened recently and it doesn’t have to always be about me la kan…for instance, my sister gave birth to a lovely baby girl, Alyssa Maira on 15 Dec – on the very same day my sister-in-law and nephews left for Dubai to join my brother. Sent them off to the airport…forgot my camera hence no pictures…but the last I spoke to them, they were preparing to start school in a few days time and they’re freaking out coz not only they need to learn Arabic, but they also need to learn French. Tough life for 11 and 8 year olds. Don’t know if the little one aged 3 need to go to kindie already there…but I cant imagine how he’s gonna learn Arabic, and French altogether. Ckp Melayu and English pun pelat.

On a different note, I want to buy a house. A landed property. We’ve gone through all the brochures, visit the sites, but we still couldn’t find the perfect home. The ones that we like are way off from our budget, the ones that we can afford to buy are not located at great locations….arrgghh…when will I find my perfect home? And property price is gonna go up next year…so do we even have the chance to get our perfect home with the right price and a great location? Quoting him “a perfect location for you would be 10mins away from your Mom’s kan?”. I just smiled. I didn’t defend myself coz it was true. I love PJ so much. I love my mom’s place so much. Sometimes, my brothers, my sister and I would just talk about the house before it was renovated years ago. We would point out what was there before the living room, or what room it was before at that corner, where we would hide our things if we didn’t want the others to find our toys, where we would hide to pee standing and poop in our pants (this of course when we were very very very young lah)… a lot of great memories there. In my whole life, I’ve never moved house – until after I got married. It was a big step for me. I cried. And he didn’t understand why. He just said I was being emo. Perhaps I was being emo…but ahhh…it’s difficult for me to untangle the words.

It’s 3 pm and I’m thinking if I should just pack my stuff and go home? After all, I have not been doing anything in the office…for the past 2 months. Yeah I think I should just go home.

The One with the Tokyo trip

2007-12-10T11:23:00.000+08:00

I'm finally back at work for the last days of December and also the year 2007. Wish I could stay home somemore...and just slug in front of the TV. 2 weeks off from work was simply great...too bad I could not pro-long it til Raya Haji and Christmas and New Year! But despite of staying at home and had loads of free time to do whatever I want, I didn't manage to clean the house this time. Part of it was coz I can't do any of the heavy duty stuff for the time being, and most of it coz I was so darn lazy to do anything. All I did was eat, watch TV and sleep all day.

Ah yes... the Tokyo trip! Was 'battling' with the internet connection at home last week. Could not upload photos at all. Looks like my time in the office will be taken away by blogging. OK, so what happened in Tokyo? I spent the first 2 days there going on a tour by myself since hubby was busy attending meetings. I got a little apprehensive to do the tour by myself (I mean although there was a group of other people but yet I was still alone). But since I can't tolerate staying in the hotel room (OMG, you wont believe how effing small the room was!!!). They're all about minimizing everything and having more space for everything else. Thing is, hubby didn't mention that there would be 2 people staying in the room, hence the hotel room that we stayed in was made for just 1 person! Yes only for one person - which meant only a super single bed. Single bed ok! And if he stands at the doorway, I wont be able to stand next to him. I've got to be on the bed or in the bathroom. That was how pathetic it was! But we survived 4 nights cramping in that small hotel room! It was a nice hotel though...great location and all...but unbelievably expensive and ridiculously small!

Ok no more talks. Picture time!

Queing up at the subway station. Tokyo has like what...I think...7 or 8 or more train lines and they are all inter-connected. It was a little bit difficult to understand the routes at first...but we got the hang of it after that.

At Harajuku - where all youngsters meet and chill. The streets are filled with little shops that sell a whole of funky Jap clothing styles.

The selection of crepes that they sell. Tempting eh?

In front of Hard Rock Cafe Tokyo. It only took us 5 minutes by cab from our hotel but it took us 15mins to explain to the cab driver where we were heading to.

At the second station of Mount Fuji. But I didnt get to see Mt Fuji at all as it was a foggy morning. We took a 2.5hours drive from Tokyo only to find that the mountain was invisible that day. Sigh.

Mt Fuji was supposed to be behind us. It was a cold and wet morning and foggy.

At a Buddist Temple in Hakone - 30mins from Mt Fuji. The surrounding is magnificent.

Still in the Buddhist Temple compund. Oh btw, why I had that school-badge looking glued to my overcoat was because it was a sticker to identify which tour group we are in!

More pictures to come!

2007-12-04T15:54:00.000+08:00

I'm back from Tokyo. But right now I'm resting at home for a week - adviced by the Doctor. I like!!!

Will blog more on my Tokyo trip soon. Now gotta prepare dinner. Hehe... yes I'm cooking.

I am Vee Aye Eye An

2007-11-21T16:59:00.000+08:00

How frequent do you get people from the Global Office Team to remember your name? 0.000167 maybe? That is about 1 out of 6000 probabilities? Yeah maybe.

Today, what made my day was…the guy from the Global Office visited our office today to do some interviews on something. And when he saw me, he called out my name! I was…thrilled. Not very often angmos can pronounce Asian names fluently. And the best part is…I’ve never met him! I often receive emails from him but have not really spoken or knew how he looked like.

So yeah, that made my day. Someone acknowledged me and remembered me. Ok, can I be on the cover for next year’s Annual Report please?

Haha. Yep I know. I’m Vee Aye Eye An. What does that spell? =)

2007-11-21T15:37:00.000+08:00

There have been a lot of things going on since the past month. And I don’t know where to begin with.

For a start, I just would like whine about how I am not doing much at work. My daily routine – waltz into the office at 10.30am. Lunch sometimes 2 hours. Leave office at 5pm. That leaves me with only 5 hours sitting at my desk doing absolutely nothing. Gosh…I know yeah I’m terrible. Even makcik yg kerja kat Kekkwa tu pun probably is working harder than me. Please put me on a project soon before I start throwing tantrums. (but ohh I already have a vision – once they put me on a project, I will be complaining non stop on how lazy or tired I’d be for actually doing work)

On a happier note, I’m leaving for Tokyo this Saturday. Yippieee… I am not well prepared to tour around the city by myself while hubby is at work, but I guess I have to. I’ve decided, if it’s too far to walk or too difficult to find someone who understands English, I’m just going to finish reading all my books while sipping Japanese green tea in my hotel room.

So today I read some blogs that I’ve not read in the longest time or just stumbled on new ones. Some are really interesting, where as some are just plain bee eye am bee ooo. Haha. Maybe other people would think that I write a bee eye am bee ooo blog too. Argh whatever. If I can puke after reading such a bee eye am bee ooo blog, so can you after reading mine.

Roll your eyes, I don’t mind.

2007-11-14T11:28:00.000+08:00

If you think I didn’t care, I wouldn’t be expressing myself.
If you think I didn’t bother, why does it hurt so badly?
If you think you didn't hurt me, why would I cry myself to sleep at night?
If you think I didn’t know, you must have underestimated me.
You think you're always right, the superior one.
You think you know everything, the smart one.
You think you can fool me, the two-faced act.
But do you really think I'm that dense?
And if you think you know so much - I hope you do know this.
You're not that great to begin with.

2007-11-09T16:20:00.000+08:00

yawn!!! today has been the most laziest day ever. well everyday is a lazy day to me but today was the worst! i got up at 9am thinking if i should just work from home. i tried to log in from home but the connection was low. darn all these broadbands on a rainy day! so i showered and got ready and lazily drove to work.

sampai office, chet satu email pun takder dlm inbox. why did i ever decide to come to work? so apa lagi? faceboook lah! i tried to install the Cities I've Visited but it didnt work. or maybe it's me who doesnt know how to use it.

12pm, we all got hungry so we drove to Bangsar Village IIto have lunch at Marmalade. and we all had the same thing for lunch. beef lasagne. mcm takder benda lain nak mkn.

the lasagne was just delicious. the white sauce on top is just so...yummy that u want to lick it off using your tongue.

this was the drink i ordered. orange+strawberry+banana combo. simply nice. and as a result of a sinful lunch, we all got sleepy. thank god i didnt drive...so i took the back seat and took a nap otw back to the office.

sampai office, still no email in my inbox - so i facebook-ed again!

ok since today has been such a super lazy day and i'm such a slacker, maybe i shud just go home and just continue being lazy for the weekend.

I AM LYNETTE

2007-10-30T17:08:00.001+08:00

Which Desperate Housewives Character Are You?
	You are Lynette. You are hard-working, responsible, and mature, but you are easily stressed-out and often feel trapped in your own life.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

the farewell

2007-10-30T11:28:00.000+08:00

I hate goodbyes. It makes me sad. It breaks my heart. It makes me cry.

Last nite, my brother left the country to pursue a career opportunity in Dubai. He went alone first - leaving his wife and kids behind but they will be going there soon - after my brother has settled in Dubai. So all of us were at the airport late last nite to send him off. Even the kids were wide awake.

It was almost 1am and we were all standing near the escalator that leads to the international departure. This is it. The moment that I hate - saying goodbyes. We hugged, kissed and most distinctly - cried. My brother was holding back his tears until he hugged his 3 sons.Ii was already shading tears like a continuous water fountain. Mama cried - seeing her golden child bidding farewell. I'm not too sure if Daddy and my eldest brother cried - my eyes were to blur to see anything. But i do know my sister was sobbing as bad as me.

We were just standing still until he took the escalator down, walked to the immigration control gate and until he waved his last goodbye.

The weird thing was....it was us adults that were emotional - the kids were fine. They were too engrossed with the chocolates in hand. Well maybe they dont understand just yet especially the little one.Ii hope everything goes well for him over there.

Hmmm maybe i should plan a trip to Dubai sometime next year.

Raya continuation

2007-10-22T23:02:00.000+08:00

Some pictures that i didn't get to post earlier...

Went back to Batu Pahat on the 1st daya Raya petang. Spent the whole morning at Mom's place in PJ. I was kinda sad to leave my parents on the first day Raya. Last time, all of us would be there for at least a week - with the kids running and screaming around... but what's left for this year? All of us had to do our due diligence by visiting the in-laws. Anyhow... did not take many photos in BP tho. I didnt have time to snap photos coz I was busy helping out in the kitchen. Ye lah takkan nak dok goyang kaki kan? As usual, the makcik2 asked "dah pregnant ke lom" and rubbed my tummy. To have someone ask and do that act one time is ok, but if there are like 10 different aunties and 10 times to do that on me... i'm kinda annoyed. And my usual reply is, hmmm belum ada rezeki lagi. Nanti bila dah ada, saya hantar sms yeee... I hope that did not sound rude.

Budak ini sgt comel. She's the 9th child out of 9 siblings! I didnt know zaman sekarang pun org beranak more than 5. She's only 2 years old but she knows how to construct a proper sentence. She was trying to pour her own drink and she mumbled "Nobody cares about me". I was speechless...

Me and the anak2 mat saleh in Batu Pahat.

And last weekend was the kenduri doa selamat for my brother who is leaving for Dubai this Saturday. After the small little prayer, we had a small makan2 too - just families and neighbours. At Mama's in PJ.

One of my nephew who is gonna leave for Dubai soon. I wonder if he's going to be able to remember us when he comes back.

Ouuchh got something in my eye....

The other nephew. The eldest brother of the above.

The other brother.

The kids enjoying their karaoke session. The hit number was the Barney song. I love you, you love me, we're best friends as friends should be.... and I cant remember the rest.

Oh it was also Mama & Daddy's 40th Anniversary!!! 40 years. I cried a little during the doa recital. Somehow it was touching. 40 years - still strong and going on strong.

Some of the guests on that day.

Ahhh my high school mates. Due to my absent minded-ness and my lack of time in sms-ing, I apologize if I had not invited anyone else. But I'll do another round of this makan2 soon.

My Celebrity-Look Alikes

2007-10-18T14:49:00.000+08:00

Here are my celebrity look-alikes! Hehe. Can my husband look like Brad Pitt then? :p

Raya Pictures

2007-10-16T16:57:00.000+08:00

This year's Raya was just average...yet touching. Touching in the sense that:
1) The clan is not complete. My second brother and wife and kids celebrated Raya at my sister-in-laws side. And my youngest brother had to work! Busy flying people who wanted to go back to their own kampung for Raya but he couldn't fly himself to his own house for Raya. So we were short of 6 family members :(
2) The first time I saw my mom cried masa salam Raya. Usually she was the 'tough' one.
3) The first time I celebrated Raya as somebody's wife. The mintak ampun part was without words but tears.

Anyhow, some pictures on this year's Raya...

The incomplete family picture. Terror jugak Bibik amik gambar.

My so preggie older sister in blue and my eldest sister in law with her kids in green.

Me and hubby opt for brown this year. Shit I look fat in this picture. Damn the baju.

My favorite nieces with their favorite aunt. =)

My nephew wondered where the heck did the other boys go - my 3 other nephews.

They say that this picture looks so much like my sister and I when were kids! Alma in blue looks like my sister and Alya in green looks like me. I dont know...

There are more pictures...guess I'll update more later.

raya blues

2007-10-10T14:38:00.000+08:00

My second older brother is going to work in Dubai for the next 3 years. He’s leaving after Raya. My sister in-law and their kids will be there too…next year onwards. And this year will be the last Raya until we all get to spend Raya together again. I’m utterly sad. There are so many morbid thoughts and feelings that come along in that sentence of ‘last Raya’… I hate myself for even having those morbid thoughts.

This year will also be my first Raya with the in-laws. Yes we get along very well indeed, but I don’t know…the feeling of not celebrating Raya with my own next of kin. My flesh and blood. It breaks me.

I wasn’t any of the above when I was younger. I did spend my Raya away from my family when I was back in NZ. The year that I didn’t go back coz I wanted to spend the summer. The year that we all went go-karting after Raya prayers. I actually felt fine. I was happy. Of course I cried a little when Mama called and when everyone spoke to me…but I was literally fine after that. It was only during that emotional moment of saying ‘Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin’. Ahhh it happens every year di pagi raya.

Am I growing to be more sensitive as I grow older?

I had this conversation with my nephews last weekend.

Me: Nanti nak pergi mana dgn Daddy?
Nephew #1 age 3: Pergi Arab…and he pulled a long face, arms folded.
Nephew #2 age 10: Tapi Arab selalu perang. Kenapa Daddy kena pergi sana?
Me: Ohh tapi Dubai ni takder perang. Tempat dia mcm KL (I don’t know but I guess I have to compare with something)
Nephew 3# age 7: Tak nak pergi lah. Mesti tak best. Aqil nak duduk sini kat rumah Wan. Aqil nak jadi prefect kat sekolah. I want to stay here in KL.

My heart plunged with sadness. I looked away, trying hard not to cry. We hugged and kissed good nights. I’m so gonna miss them.

Anyway, Raya is just around the corner. The routine every year would be, gather at Mom’s place malam raya, buat apa yg patut, main bunga api and mercun (yes I still do dan juga abang2 saya dan adik lelaki saya). Afti, if you’re reading this, kitorang la yg selalu memekak every year kat depan your house main mercun malam2. Sorry hehe.

Selamat Hari Raya everyone. Maaf Zahir Batin.

short talk

2007-10-09T12:43:00.000+08:00

before this, i sang the song "Me Love" from Sean Kingston like this:

"I feel like I'm drowning in the ocean. Sawadeeka and take me away"...

I knew there was something wrong with that sentence...but I swore that I really heard him saying that.

Until this morning I heard it loud and clear:

"I feel like I'm drowning in the ocean. Somebody come and take me away"...

2007-10-08T13:48:00.000+08:00

i have not been in touch with a lot of people lately. i dont know...maybe it was the workload...maybe it's the laziness...and i really feel bad. i even have not visited my girlfriend who had given birth recently. and she named me as her child's godmother sometime ago. and i have not visited her just yet. i'm so sorry dear. i really am sorry. i will go buy my godchild a super nice baby gift and i'll be off to your place real soon ok, i so promise that.

today, i managed to find some time to touch base with some of my dear friends...was chatting with keri...one of my favorite guys. yes i have a few favorite guys in my list, whom are my good friends from school days, uni days and also working days. i miss the good old days.

some excerpt from ninie-keri chat session:

Confirmed! says: somehow after u kawin
Confirmed! says: i really feel like
Confirmed! says: lost you as a fren
~ninie~ says: i know...i feel it too
~ninie~ says: i feel like i dont have that many friends anymore
~ninie~ says:altho azman never said that i cannot hang out with friends…i just don’t know what happened
Confirmed! says: dulu kita minum petang
Confirmed! says: confirm once a week
Confirmed! says: then lunch
~ninie~ says: maybe things are rather different...now and then
Confirmed! says: and remember emails
~ninie~ says: yea those emails yg ramai2 reply
Confirmed! says: in fact u even called my office
Confirmed! says: my colleague - mike
Confirmed! says: suka dgr ur voice
~ninie~ says: and he thot that i was yr gf rite
Confirmed! says: yeah hahahah
~ninie~ says: i really missed u guys...hanging out with u guys especially
~ninie~ says: and i meant this…me being the only girl...the rose among the thorns
Confirmed! says: gelak tak ingat
Confirmed! says: yeah we love it too
~ninie~ says: those were the best times ever

yes i miss those times. ever since i cannot remember when...things have changed. some of got married, some of us now have babies...maybe our priorities changed? no...i dont want things to change. i want things to be the same. i want to go back to the time when we were all only 25. it's been 2 years...not that i dont like the things that had happened in the last 2 years...but i just wonder why cant we all remain the same as it was 2 years ago?

one of those times...

the last trip

2007-10-08T13:26:00.000+08:00

the Estee Lauder makup set

the dress.

my first red shoes.

the hotel room

so lazy to write more...not in a mood. it's monday.

2007-10-04T12:55:00.000+08:00

It’s probably this tiredness feeling that makes me a very un-friendly person today.

Got home late last nite, thanks to the MH flight for being delayed for 2 freaking hours! And this is not the first delayed flight this whole entire week for them. Buck up you people! In total, I waited for 3.5hours in the airport doing absolutely nothing.

By the time I reached home, it was already 1am. He was fast asleep. I just changed into my PJ and crashed out. He probably did wake me up before he went to work, but I just couldn’t get my eyes open. Couldn’t really remember what he said…probably something about tak buka puasa together tonight or some sort. I slept again and when I woke up…dang!!! It’s 10.30am! I just wanted to call in sick but I’ve got to finish up a report. Waltz in into the office bout 12pm just now…

I have not said hello or smiled to anyone in the office today. They’re probably thinking what is up with this bitch today. Like I care.

A few recent events that happened between family, friends and peers boggled up my mind. Don’t know how to express it in words. All I know is…I don’t want to deal with it right now. I’m just weak to deal with it now.

He said to me before: you selalu simpan dlm hati sbb tu u selalu makan hati.

He’s probably right. Or he is right. I hate it when he’s right.

Okay…one at a time. Take a number and wait for your turn.

Now I want to buy some food. I’m probably just grumpy cause I’m hungry. Most people are like that, aren’t they? Or maybe it’s just me.

Ahhh I still forgot to bring the cable to transfer the pictures!

the one where my credit card declined on me!

2007-10-03T01:22:00.000+08:00

It’s 12.25am and I can’t sleep. Just came back from supper with Angie. Had a nasi goreng ayam sambal, and the nasi goreng turned out to be this super chili red colour rice that freaked me out a little. And then I glanced over another table where this girl ordered a mee goreng, and the noodle also was in a super chili red colour! Eh kenapa la semua makanan pun kaler merah kat sini? But since I was really hungry (despite of tak puasa)…but it was my first meal for the entire day…and I only had it at 10.30pm! So lapar punya pasal, makan je lah nasi kaler merah.

My work in transferring the knowledge to the new person is practically done! I wrapped everything up in a day only! I hope I’ve not missed anything though. And after this, I really cant wait to wash my hands clean off this whole shit.

Checked in at the hotel at about 6pm. I like this hotel I’m staying at. Due to the high occupancy at the hotel, they upgraded me to a slightly bigger room. I loike!! The super king size bed will be mine the entire nite. The flat screen TV mounted on the wall. There’s free broadband and also free minibar (which is only filled with gassy drinks) but I think that’s just so fine. Ohhh and what I like most is…the see-through bathroom! Yes there’s this huge glass in between the bedroom and the bathroom and if I were to bathe naked and draw my curtains open, people from the next building can see right through the windows! Yes it does look a bit kinky…but since I’m staying alone…takkan nak kinky sorang2?

Rested for a while, golek sana sini, checked my mails and then headed to the Far East Plaza. I wanted to buy some tops from this shop where all tops are sold at $9!!! But they were closed! And it was only 8pm! And then I ended up buying a printed dress that I really like. It’s $28 for 1, $45 for 2. I bought only 1, I should have bought 2!!! Then I headed to Takashimaya – waited for Angie. I was entertained by the street performers…they were cool actually. Then when Angie came, we went inside Taka and she bought some stuff from Estee Lauder. Estee is giving out special Christmas gifts right now (yeah I know it’s still early…even Raya pun belum lagi). The promotion is…buy any Estee Lauder perfume, and you will get the gift pack (which is worth over $500) for only $98!!! I’m like…darn that’s freaking cheap although it’s not in Ringgit. Ala…kali 2.3 adalah dlm 200+.

The gift pack consists of 3 lipsticks, 3 gloss, 1 set of eyeshadows (cant remember how many colours), 1 set of cheek blushers in 4 or 5 colours, eyeliners, mascara, make-up bag and also the brushes! So worth it kan? I love make ups! It’s like my all-time favorite toy! I was toying with the idea to get one for myself. I mean, I can just get the smallest bottle of Pleasures perfume and just give it to Mama as a Raya gift apart from the jubah that I bought recently. All I want is the make-up set! Angie bought one and I was like…aarrgghhh saya nak juga (damn Angie why did you have to bring me to Taka?)! But I know that if I buy, hubby would always say that I like to membazir! But since he’s planning to buy new sunnies and also an expensive watch that he’s been eyeing for quite sometime…I think getting myself a make-up set is also a retreat for myself. So I also bought dengan hati yang girang. And then suddenly, time nak bayar, they said my credit card declined! Shit! Takkan la I don’t have sufficient funds? Couldn’t be what…I just paid a huge amount before I came here! The card was declined for several times. This time I got a little bit pissed. And neither Angie nor I have enough cash, so I had to excuse myself from paying! Was a little embarrassed with that situation and we stepped aside.

Angie: So macamana…do you still wanna buy?
Me: Well…I like that thing. I want I want I want. But how come my credit card decline? I’ve cleared some of my outstanding amount already! Hmmm maybe it’s a sign to say that I’m shopping too much…and that I should not get the makeup.
Angie: Well we can go to the ATM and withdraw…else we can just walk away and never ever come here again.
Me: But this is the perfect gift for myself! I mean I have no problems to withdraw…but shit la…naper credit card decline? Jahat la Maybank!
Angie: Ala maybe they hold the amount coz you swiped at the hotel tadi tak?
Me: Errrr maybe…but takkan la they hold so much? Teruk la!

I withdrew money anyway. And when we wanted to go back to the counter, most entrance was closed! Then I realized that Taka closes at 9.30pm. I literally begged the doorman to let me in coz I wanted to go pay. He unlocked the door and I paid for my toy…

Walked back to the hotel to put the stuff in the room. And hubby rang.

Hubby: U kat ner?
Me: Tgh jalan balik hotel.
Hubby: Shopping tak?
Me: Errrr…taklah. Takder...mana ader.
Hubby: For real? Tipuuuuuuu….
Me: Shucks…did you put a tracking device on me or something?
Hubby: Hah! I knew it. What did you buy this time? The whole of Orchard?
Me: Nanti I tunjuk lah. See you tomorrow nite. Bye hunn!

I didn’t dare to tell him bout the credit card incident. I plan to keep quiet.

He’s so gonna pop his eyes out when he sees the make-up set. I just bought some stuff from Mac few days back. And from my 2 months stay in Singapore, I came with only 3 pairs of shoes, but I when I went back home for good, I went back with 13 pairs! Which meant…I bought 10 pairs of shoes in the whole 2 months! And I got an earful from him for that. Yes I know I must stop with all these sifat membazir…but susahlah…help!!!

I snapped photos of the hotel room, the barang2 that I bought…and then I realized…I didn’t bring my cable to transfer the picture. So next post aje nanti.

Ohh and did I mention that I threw one side of my shoe at a cab this morning? Well I took the taxi from the airport, put my luggage in the trunk. When I got down at the office, I went right to the back of the cab to take my luggage out, but the driver drove away…with my luggage still in the trunk! I ran to stop the cab…and I was afraid that I couldn’t catch up, I took off one side of my shoe and threw and it hit the trunk. Bulls eye! The cab driver came out from the car…wanting to scold me…until he realized that my luggage was still in the trunk. So not my fault rite. After all I didn’t scratch his cab nor damage anything. The only thing that’s damaged rite now is probably my shoe!

Sigh…if only someone had captured that on camera…that would be seriously hilarious!
Kih kih kih.

2007-09-28T15:50:00.001+08:00

I’ve to flyback to the small little island again next week. Thank God it’s just for 2 days. Well I make it 2 days.

Since it’s only going to be for 1 night, I request to be put up at a hotel instead of the company house. Reason being: it will be so much closer to the office, easy access for food, and plus, give me a break la…I didn’t say a word when you put me up at the company house yg sgt bosan itu for 2 freaking months…so I think I deserve to stay some place better.

But the response that I got was…we want to save money! Excuse me? You guys can spend thousands of dollars in Perth buying alcohol drinks for (almost) everyone but you want to think twice for a $250 per night for an accommodation at a hotel? You have gotta be kidding me man!

Why? Why are they being mean to me? Other Consultants get to stay at a decent hotel whenever they travel, but why not me?

Sometimes it’s all these small things that bother me…that annoys me like hell. Don’t let me start on the claims part. Boleh sakit otak ok. They always talk about retention strategies for employees, but nothing is being done right. Then what’s the point of asking our opinion on how the company should improve better?

This is not the first time…

eeee geramnya!!!

2007-09-27T16:19:00.000+08:00

I wonder if people actually know how to communicate effectively via business email? Don’t they know that when they end a sentence with a lot of exclamation mark (!!!!!) it literally means that they are shouting/howling/yelling/shrieking at the recipient? Don’t they know that in business writing, sentences should be formal and proper? I get very irritated with a European client of mine, who flooded my inbox with emails full of exclamation marks, CAPPED, BOLD & UNDERLINED improper sentences.

I can understand if she does that because I made a mistake or I screwed up along the way. Thing is I didn’t. I find it rude and un-professional of her to do that. I’m not some stupid kid where you can order me around, push me back and forth, and slap me left and right. I wonder if at all they have any budi bicara in their culture.

Since we are on the topic of being polite, I’d like to point out to some people out there who like to pick their nose or teeth in public…can you all please not do it in public as it is just so freaking gross and rude? This morning on the way to work, I stopped at a traffic light since it was red (like duh). And there was this ‘aunty’ who literally took the middle space of two lanes, stopped right next to me. Automatically I looked at her…and there she was…dengan penuh perasaan tengah korek hidung and somewhat squeeze the taik idung with her fingers. Yucks…gross gila ok!!!!! (yes I am shrieking but not at you…just shrieking at the aunty). Cerita korek gigi usually happens after a meal. Cant these people be more self conscious and do it discreetly like for example in the washroom? Perlu ke nak kena korek gigi kat depan org lain yg tgh makan? Eeeeee…gila pengotor.

I’m so grossed out now. Yuck yuck yuck…

it's just an awful feeling

2007-09-26T10:50:00.001+08:00

Something is bothering me.
I just don’t know what.
At times, my heart beats so loud that I could hear it.
Most times, my left eye twitches that it annoys me so much.
What is happening to me?
Or is something going to happen to me?

Lately, I have been getting dreams that are not the sweetest if you ask me.
I often wake up from my sleep feeling worried.
And I hate that feeling.

I just want to live normal again.

earthquake and puasa

2007-09-13T17:32:00.001+08:00

hari ni first day puasa. i almost bought food this morning for breakfast. nasib baik teringat that today puasa. and nasib baik tak makan. and nasib baik semalam dah baca niat.

hari ni first day puasa. normally i would buka puasa at home with the whole family. but today i'm going to buka puasa alone. sob sob sob.

today we felt the tremor following the earthquake in sumatera. i was on the phone when i suddenly felt like everything around me was spinning and rocking. the stapler on my desk moved. shit! the whole freaking building was shaking. then i heard someone shouted "everyone!!! evacuate the building now". i got panicked. shit, i never experienced any of this before. i immediately put down the phone, grabbed my bag and ran out from the room. they adviced us to take the stairs. aduh...dah la pakai heels hari ni. 13 floors down. ok la not that bad... tapi kaki ku sgt sakit skrg ni.

on a more happier note: I'M COMING HOME...for good...i'm so glad!!! i'm finally leaving this place this saturday. i'm so glad i dont have to see these people...anymore. but err...they told me that i need to be here on a need and merit basis. i tried to say no, but after some negotiations, if i need to be here to review anything, i'm only staying for a day or two.

ok now kena be a bit more diligent to finish my work. selamat berpuasa.

2007-09-11T12:54:00.000+08:00

the fridge at the company house was spoilt during my trip to perth. but the landlady sent for a technician to fix it up and now it's working but i noticed that the fridge makes real irritating buzzing noise and it's less cold.

last night, after watching ugly betty, i walked to the kitchen half asleep to drink my aloe vera apple juice which i bought before i went to perth. the date of expiry for the juice is on 2 October 2007. i poured it into a tall glass and i took 2 big gulps until my tongue came to its senses of this somewhat-funky-basi-apple-juice-taste.

blegghhh...i literally put a finger into my throat so that i throw it all out back. funny that the taste actually made me less sleepy after. eeeee yuckss...

the one with the perth trip: the FUN people that went

2007-09-06T15:05:00.001+08:00

On our temabuilding day, there was a powerpoint presentation shown to all of us. a story of the company's journey for the past 7 years and for a whole lot more to come. i especially liked the song that was played during the presentation. it's from Rob Thomas - little wonders. Our lives are made in these small hours...and in these small hours, I made many friends along the way.

The SAP Consultants...i think?

More SAP Consultants...except me. Cheers everyone.

The yuppies.

My bitching partners.

She has a very unique name. Someone I know very well used to date her. It's a small world after all.

My Business Consulting team aka the airy-fairy people.

One of the coolest Senior Manager.

The lovely girl that everybody loves. Everyone loves Fifi.

Can hardly understand what the big guy says most of the time...but he's pretty generous.

My two good friends.

The organizing committee of the trip. Kudos.

The girl who people dont wanna mess with...if not nanti tak dapat duit... claims...salary... :p

There are so many more pictures, this is probably only 10% of the people in the office that I've taken photos with. There are like 100+ more people in the office and we still dont know each others names... but I guess we'll just keep on trying.

Thanks guys for the fun times. You guys rock!

the one with the perth trip: the scenes

2007-09-06T14:26:00.000+08:00

Perth Airport.

Metro Hotel where we stayed. Agak buruk... but thats the best we could do with our budget.

At Fremantle Market. Souvenirs, fruits, cafes...

Not sure what flowers are these... but they're beautiful.

The whispering wall. If you whisper on one end, I can hear you on the other end...even if it's a whisper.

The Perth city skyline

On a canal cruise looking over at the rich and famous yachts.

The Swan Bell Building. Maybe I need to rotate this picture... but nahh... malas.

The wine yard.

Thats Perth!

the one with the perth trip: contacts with the animals

2007-09-06T10:27:00.000+08:00

Dah pergi Australia kena la amik gambar ngan koala kan. Sebenarnya takut nak pegang coz I'm not really an animal lover. Everyone knows I'm afraid of animals and geli...tapi sbb nak tunjuk that "Yes, I've been there, done that" punya pasal... pegang je lah.

I'm a hugging a wombat!!! Haiwan itu sangat berat dan sangat busuk. Until today I cannot believe I actually carried that on my lap. Berbulu lagi... geli ok. Tapi best. Ahaha.

Amer & I on a camel ride. Another close contact with animal. It was a bumpy ride. But fun!

I'm feeding the kangaroo. I screamed when the kangaroo licked my palm. But not in this picture tho.

I'm not sure if I have conquered my fear with animals... I shall try to go near cats nanti... see if it works ahahah. I'm never cruel to animals, I just geli even tho the animal can be the cutest thing ever.

2007-08-29T11:11:00.000+08:00

yeay the trip is tomorrow and i'm so excited.
excited to be away from work mostly.
hubby is on his way to melbourne now.
i'm gonna be in perth.
we're gonna be in the same country but not gonna meet each other.
so near yet so far.
how sad.
if only i'm going to melbourne...
or if only he has work in perth.
havent seen him in ages.

i'm back with more whining

2007-08-23T14:52:00.000+08:00

i haven't had the time to blog as i was really busy the past week and the whole of this week. my boss came down here for a conference and i met him on one of the evenings. when he saw me... "oh gosh marls, u look terrible". so i'm not kidding when i say i'm having a real hard time over here. we both spoke on getting me out of here and come home before puasa month starts. yes please...coz i cannot imagine myself puasa kat sini, and worst, bukak puasa alone.

one biacth from hell shouted at me yesterday...bcoz of some stupid crap thing that my colleague forgotten to do. i responded in the most polite manner i could, but she just pushed my button when she continued shouting and talked rudely at me. i lost my patience and i shouted back at her. at one point, it felt so damn good to do that, but on the other hand...shit mati la aku if my Management finds out about this.

i worked til past 8pm last nite doing an analysis of their whatevers. i could have sworn that i saved the damn file. but when i got back to the office today to continue on the last saved file, all the info was gone! it was really frustrating!!! now i've got to do it all over again! i'm tired.

this place sucks me dry.

please

2007-08-06T14:23:00.001+08:00

that is it! i've had enough of this bullshit.
i seriously am freaking tired of being ordered around.
i freaking hate the people.
i freaking hate this job i'm on.
i freaking hate this place.
i freaking hate everything here.
somebody, please get me out of here.
help. i beg you. please.
i cannot take it anymore.
please...

meme: 8 random things bout myself

2007-08-02T11:38:00.000+08:00

finally i've found some spare time to do the meme from sweettooth. but just before i begin, let me just remind you that i'm a person who is so full of myself sometimes. so writing 8 random things about me may not be enough...but i'll keep it to that if i can.

hmmm but now that i've got to write something, the words seem to disappear in the thin air. ok let's try again.

1. i like to read anything inspirational. whether it's an inspirational novel, biography of someone's life, poems, meaningful lyrics, quotes, i love them. i'm very much a word person. sometimes in my conversations, i quote stuff that i read and people (usually my husband) think i'm dramatic.

2. i'm such a softy sensitive emotional-wreck girl. i cry easily. i get too carried away by things that saddens me, and touched my heart. so u can guess as much that yes i will cry watching movies like armageddon, the green mile, errr what else? but ohh not hindi movies please. somehow i cannot tune myself to the long draggy storyline and singing and dancing, and then tetiba ada scene gaduh debak debush debak debush, and then scene nangis...i dunno...i just cant and dont know how.

3. i'm a food person. i like to eat meat especially. but i dont eat anything that is super sweet like chocolates or desserts. yeah i know most girls would just skip main course and go straight to dessert. but i'm not like that. my sugar intake is only up to a certain level and if i consume more, my face will turn red and i'll start puking. sorry, i dont have a sweettooth :)

4. i loooooovveeeee shoes. my husband would casually remind me that there arent anymore space in the shoe cabinet coz i've taken it all. he'll just roll his eyes everytime i bring home paperbags that contain boxes of shoes. and sometimes i waste money buying shoes that are nice but not neccesarily comfortable. and i also looooveeeee bags! sometimes it's not so much of using it. it's bcoz they're nice and pretty. altho i know i dont have clothes to match them but i still buy them. thinking that one day that i will have a dress to go with the bag and shoes.

5. i used to cheat in school exams, but nothing big like SPM or exams in uni. yeah here i am admitting it out in the open. i once got caught when i cheated in my arabic paper kat sekolah agama. i think that time i was 10. i seriously have no clue about any of the questions that were asked in that paper. i got kicked out from the class for cheating. maluuuu. the next day i told my parents to send me to some other school that DID NOT teach arabic.

6. i used to be quite chubby. back in mara college banting during my asasi. i dont know why i gotten that big. nak kata food, it sucked. i probably ate alot of junk food like snacks, crackers... u dont wanna know how i look like back then.

7. i worked as a part time waitress back in nz when i was there finishing up my degree. for someone who never worked in her whole entire life, i think i did pretty well. i worked because the others did. and i actually had fun. and also because i needed that extra pocket money. to shop shop shop. hehehe.

8. ohhh have we come to the last point already? darn... ok. ermmm ok this other thing about me is that...i'm always fashionably late...but i dont like it when i have to wait for people. how ironic kan? i always get nagged coz i take too much time to get ready. i've missed flights, late for appointments, late to work...everything just late. i waltz in at anytime i like...which sometimes got other people upset...i'm so sorry...i should have been more considerate.

ok itu sahaja tentang diri saya. tetapi, saya akan tetap terus menulis tentang diri saya kerana saya kan suka bercakap tentang diri sendiri. ya, saya tahu saya ni mungkin agak menjengkelkan, tetapi tak apa lah, saya memang begitu. jangan la tak nak kawan saya lepas ini ok. saya sedang dlm keadaan yg sgt emo dan sgt stress skrg.

quick updatez

2007-08-01T13:17:00.000+08:00

busy busy busy but i need to update utk lepas gian hahah.

these past few days have been quite hectic here. i'm preparing for the big presentation(s) rolling out this afternoon. i'm chicken shitz! i've never done any presentation by myself. i always always had my team with me but not on thsi project. and now i'm kinda nervous tak tentu arah.

i dun like being me rite now mainly because i dont enjoy what i do anymore. this consulting thing is driving me insane at a certain juncture. i dont even remember how i landed myself into this. i dont remember my ambition to become a business consultant. i remembered i wanted to become a policewoman hahahaha. ini semua sebab tengok that cantonese drama ptg2 masa kecik2 dulu.

this morning i also found myself playing a role as a career advisor to a colleague. gee what do i know about career? i'm at the brink of quitting too. i'm still waiting for that job application reply that never came through. maybe i failed. maybe they dont like me. or maybe they think i'm out-smarting them ahaha. well i just wanna make myself feel better.

alot of times this week i've got asked these questions:

1) are you working as a cabin crew? - - omg, do i look like one?
2) are you married? - - yessss...cant u see the rock?
3) your accent is quite strange. what nationality are u? - - somehow i found that quite offensive. i dont think i have a strange accent.

ok time is ticking. laterz....

2007-07-19T13:49:00.000+08:00

i realized that almost of my entries revolve around anger, hates and dislikes. i complain (whine) about the tiny details like taking a public transport, when there are actually others who is (are) probably going through far more worse things (events) in their daily lives. and they probably dont tell the whole world about it. i want to be more compassionate in my writings, but i just dont know how. or most of the time i just dont know what to write.

i dont want to be writing about stuff i do everyday like how early (or late) i have to wake up. what (and who) annoys me today. i dont want to whine about the food or the traffic or the cab driver(s) who never fails to say something about my dear beloved country; tanah tumpahnya darahku. there was one morning when i was in a cab to work and the driver kept comparing his whatever country to its neighbouring countries. if it wasnt because of the distance to the work place, i would have asked him to stop and i'd walk or flag another cab. and when i finally reached my destination, paid the cab fare and took my receipt, i said to him "Eh Uncle, you're such a racist. If I were to be like you, I wouldn't have paid my cab fare at all to you" and i closed (slightly slam) the door.

sometimes, some people are just plain whatever #$@!&*

coz am leaving on the jet plane...

2007-07-12T17:32:00.000+08:00

Be careful what you wish for, coz you just might get it all…and some you don’t want…
- Daughtry

I havent had the time to update my dearest blog...
Been busy running errands and preparing myself for the big move.
After 4 days of harassing for accommodation and other reservations, being in telecons, preparing my flybacks schedules...
Now, I'm glad that all are settled and I just need to get my butt on the plane.

I dont know how I'm going to cope for being away for 3 months.
Yes I get flybacks...but it will not be the same.
It's not gonna be the same for not waking up next to him in the morning.
It's not gonna be the same for not having dinner with him every night.
It's not gonna be the same for not being there with him everyday for the next 3 months or so.

But I can do this, and I will go through this.
It's not going to be another boring month in the office and just slug over nothing.
It's actually going to be a fun (I also will say difficult) journey doing this by myself.
That is the price to pay when you over-stretch your CV and make it sound damn impressive!

I will update...from time to time.
Until then...

the one with the weekend getaway

2007-06-27T14:51:00.000+08:00

Birthday + Free Holiday = AWESOME
Beach + Sunset = MAGNIFICENT
Seafood = YUMMMM

Well I just came back from a weekend getaway. Didn’t go that far, only to KK. Hubby has a conference/meeting for 4 days in Sutera Harbour, so I tagged along.

But oh before that, last week was tight for me at work (finally I did something productive). Conducted an assessment centre session (series of interviews, written test assessments that well includes IQ test, essay, and also some technical test, and also a series of group activities i.e. traffic jam and zin obelisk whatever). Running an assessment centre is actually fun as I met different types of people with different skill sets and of course different personalities altogether. Assessing them in all those activities was more fun coz they don’t know what we were assessing them on, so to see how some of them react to certain situations could really shock you sometimes. Ok whatever. So to get to go somewhere after a tight week was such a relief.

Left to KK on late Thursday morning. I had to board Air Asia coz MAS didn’t have anymore seats. But hubby was on MAS with all his bosses and all. So I left on an earlier flight to KK, and I waited for him to arrive in KK one hour after I did. Which meant I had to wait for him at Terminal 1 coz MAS flights land there whereas Air Asia flights land in Terminal 2.

The whole of Thursday noon was zero activity coz it was raining, hence we stayed in the room and we both dozed off til dinner time. Dinner on Thursday was at the hotel’s café, with a good spread of buffet but somehow I forgot my camera that nite so dint actually took pictures. It was my first time meeting my hubby’s colleagues, so after dinner, was more of an ice breaker for me – the usual questions like kerja kat mana, buat apa, bila nak ada baby ladida (hmmm I didn’t know the baby question was going to pop up since it was my first time meeting all of them). But anyway, after all that intense Q&A session, suddenly from the back of the café, I could hear people singing Happy Birthday and when I turned my head, a group of some others were walking towards me. I looked at my hubby and he had this put-on ‘puzzled’ look and a grin on his face. Well I was certainly touched by their hospitality and I think it’s been ages since anyone threw me a surprise birthday treat like that. Ohh actually that was a lie, my colleagues bought a cake sang me a birthday song a day before I left to KK (it was one day early). So yeah that was a surprise too. But the one in KK was unexpected coz it was my first time meeting all of them and yet they were so nice and sweet. After that, some of us adjourned to our own gaya bebas activity. Hubby, myself and 2 more of his colleagues went for a karaoke…quite dodgy but I guess cant ask for too much la.

Then on Friday, I took the liberty to go around town by myself since the meeting/conference was the whole day. So I hopped on the hotel shuttle and went to the mall. There’s a big mall in KK called the Centrepoint and also another one behind it but I didn’t go there coz it’s basically the same stuff what KL has. So I opted to go to Wisma Merdeka – quite rundown but still alive with shops and all. I’m surprised to learn that the stuff in KK aren’t cheap as I thought it would be. I was expecting that a pair of no brand shoes would not cost more than RM20 but nope, I didn’t actually found anything below RM20. I spent maybe 5 hours there alone, 2 hours of which I went and did French manicure + hand scrub + massage. Not bad, RM45 for all that.

At 2.30pm, I went back to the place where the bus driver dropped me off earlier since the hotel shuttle collects passengers every 1 hour. But I sat there and waited for 15 minutes and no show of the driver and shuttle! I approached the guard that sat there the whole time and asked if the shuttle is late or has left… and he was like oh… "kau lambat sudah bah. nanti jam 3.30 kau ke mari lagi. jangan kau lambat". i understood of course, but what puzzled me was...how come the bus didnt come at 2.30? then i checked the schedule... ohhh 1-3pm is a break time for the drivers. cheh! so kena la linger around kat situ.

Okay, i dont wanna write anymore but i'll let the pictures speak the thousand words.

the view from my room. wished it was the ocean view tho.

the marina.at sutera harbour. waiting for the sun to set.

even the kid is facinated too. this is a bit dark coz i forgot to turn on the flash. :p

just look at the orang light. maginificent kan?

without flash. the colour of the sun is so much nicer...but kesian my hubby muka tak nampak.

us together.

my feet...no lah i wanted to capture the pool bar in the middle of the swimming pool.

yup they have a newspaper in Kadazan Dusun lang!

we had seafood most of de time. but didnt capture every dish coz by the time i took my camera out, they were happily digging in already...

the view from my bathroom - yup there's a window that you can just open from the bathroom and peek-a-boo...there's my bed!

ok need to get back to work. toddles.

Rejuvenate, Re-discover, Relive

2007-06-14T11:08:00.000+08:00

Ello!!! I am starting to live the healthy life style again. And yes for the past 6 months I have been slugging myself with no exercise activities, I don’t control what I eat and I get upset when I see the number on the weighing scale machine! So I signed up to become a member at a friend’s fitness studio in Kota Damansara recently. So now, I’m gonna be doing yoga, jazzercise and belly dancing as part of my fitness regime. And I’m gonna make sure that I commit myself into this because I want to stop whining about how weak I feel, or how I’ve gained weight and NOT exercising. I loathe going to the gym because there are so many people at one given time, the classes are full all of the time, and I think I had enough when I got my face kicked when I attended a Body Combat class one time – but I guess that was my fault coz I was the only one that went to the wrong direction ahahaha!

Alrite today I’m not gonna bitch about work, or whine about stuff that may not be an interest to anyone, but today I’m gonna help a friend promoting her newly opened All Women Fitness Studio (well not that she asked me to do this, but I just want too). Ok so… this is the first All Women Fitness Studio newly opened in Kota Damansara, spacious dance floor, clean, and the best part, you don’t need to squeeze in between other people during your work out sessions!

Classes: they’ve got Yoga, Jazzercise and Belly Dancing. There are classes everyday Mon-Sun, for more details check out their classes schedule here.

My feedback: Jazzercise is FUN! You sweat like you’ve just run a 5km marathon (I think 5km is long distance already!). Belly Dancing is also as exciting. I went for my first class last nite, and little did I know that IT IS that hard to coordinate my body to shake only my hips and not my shoulders at the same time! And I also get to wear that scarf with coins(?), ala that normal costume where belly dancers usually wear around their hips, the ringing sound from the jingling coins when you shake your booty. Very cool! I yet have to try the yoga classes, but I’m so excited to try soon! Ohh, and you can also purchase yoga mats from the Studio itself. It comes in floral prints in 2 colours – orange or purple, and a plain mat in pink. And it comes along with a yoga mat bag from Bali or somewhere sbb dia ada beads and it’s really cantik. Lupa pulak nak snap the picture of my yoga mat and the bag.

Membership fee: Affordable and Reasonable! With unlimited classes access.
Ok, for more details, visit the Studio W website.

So ladies, what are you waiting for? Sign up today and let’s have fun!
Ohh, and there’s a FREE trial session too.

Best kan?

2007-06-13T11:07:00.000+08:00

My motivation rate fluctuates accordingly with my mood swings.
When I’m happy, I’m highly motivated.
Hence, I am a productive worker, I spring ideas from my fingers, and everybody would absolutely love me, I think!
But when I’m angry or upset, that is IT!
Don’t talk to me and don’t mess with me, I once told a Superior.
Yes I did that.
He was obviously shocked by that and he said:
“If I were to make you take over my place one day, I’m pretty sure all of the Consultants will just freak out when they see you like this”.
I don’t know what makes me annoyed so much.
Like right now, I’m not happy coz people have moved over to the area where I’m sitting.
Before this, it was just me and another girl.
So we had all the space to ourselves.
I can put my coffee mug on one table, my handbag on another, and I’d do my work at another table.
That was how luxurious it was.
But now, I’m confined to a table that’s not even 2 arms length, and I can only move probably 10cm to the left and 15cm to the right.
I can’t breathe!!! This space is killing me.
People wear different perfumes, hence bringing different smells.
I’m suffocating.
I opted to sit elsewhere, but I was told that the vacant bigger space is only for Managers.
Oh yeah I forgot, I’m not one.
I told them that I’m claustrophobic.
They laughed.
Boleh blah!
Get me out of here, put somewhere on a project…
Put me anywhere but here.
Today, I hate everyone and everything.

oh come on!!!

2007-06-12T11:25:00.000+08:00

There are 3 types of people in this world:
1. There are those that make things happen.
2. There are some who watch things happen.
3. And there are also some who wonder what have happened.

At this point of time, I’m trying hard to be in category number 1.
But the problem with what I’m doing is…
The people that are supposed to work with me fall in category number 2!
And the decision maker falls in category number 3!

Arrghhhh how frustrating!
I despise these people!

2007-06-08T16:01:00.000+08:00

It’s Friday, 3 something in the afternoon, raining cats and dogs outside, yawn~~
If only my bed is next to me…
I could use some sleep, despite of not being tired.
But instead here I am, in the office – not doing much.
I went for a super early lunch today and super long somemore.
Met up with my mentor.
It felt so good to vent out my wacko-emo-feeling.
He’s probably one of the people who can criticize me in my face and yet I don’t take it personally.
Not that I don’t take his words seriously, but I just feel that whatever he says makes sense to me.
Even when I know he’s not so right sometimes.
Ah whatever.

I have a feeling that I’m gonna be stuck in the traffic for a long long time this evening.
So…instead of staying til my official hours is up…
I think I want to balik rumah sekarang!!!
A colleague of mine has already packed up and left.

Ok I’m off now.
I just hope I don’t fall asleep while driving.

2007-06-06T10:25:00.000+08:00

I just realized how important it is to read the washing instruction label on our clothes prior to washing them.
I threw in my Zara skirt into the washing machine 2 weeks ago.
Today I wanted to wear it to work, and the skirt only went up halfway, up to my thighs only.
I almost fainted thinking "oh tidak, adakah diriku sudah gemuk"...
Then I read the label.
It said “DO NOT WASH, DRY CLEAN ONLY”
&^%#*!@
The skirt literally shrunk to one size smaller!
And looks like I can never wear it again...
Unless if shrink to one size smaller too, like the skirt.

2007-06-05T13:51:00.001+08:00

I was late to the office again this morning and this time my boss had no doubt at all for calling me in into his office.
So what’s your reason this time?
Let me guess…
“You turned back home coz you forgot your laptop?”
“You turned back coz you forgot to bring your purse and you had no money to pay your parking?”
Or was it “I realized that I was wearing a different pair of shoes, hence I had to turn back”.
Those were some of the reasons why I was late to the office for a couple of times.
Really…not bluffing.

I wanted to crack another lame-ass reason why I was late this morning,
But I didn’t say anything coz I realized how angry he was.
(Hmmm maybe he didn’t get laid last nite?)
I apologized for being late.
Yes I know I’ve been showing some indiscipline patterns lately but I’m trying so hard to get back on track.

If I were to tell him that the reason why I was late this morning was because I couldn’t decide what I should wear to work…
Do you think he’ll buy it?
I think he’d probably roll his eyes like it will come out from its socket!!!

Yup, I couldn’t decide what I should be wearing today.
Pants? Skirt? Dress?
At last, I decided on a pair of pants and a cardie, after 5 rounds of changing.
But one of the buttons on the pants popped out after I went to the ladies!
Darn!!!
Was it just loose or am I just getting fatter?
Darn darn darn!!!!