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30 October 2007

I AM LYNETTE


Which Desperate Housewives Character Are You?

You are Lynette. You are hard-working, responsible, and mature, but you are easily stressed-out and often feel trapped in your own life.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

silent reverie 5:08 PM
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the farewell
I hate goodbyes. It makes me sad. It breaks my heart. It makes me cry.

Last nite, my brother left the country to pursue a career opportunity in Dubai. He went alone first - leaving his wife and kids behind but they will be going there soon - after my brother has settled in Dubai. So all of us were at the airport late last nite to send him off. Even the kids were wide awake.

It was almost 1am and we were all standing near the escalator that leads to the international departure. This is it. The moment that I hate - saying goodbyes. We hugged, kissed and most distinctly - cried. My brother was holding back his tears until he hugged his 3 sons.Ii was already shading tears like a continuous water fountain. Mama cried - seeing her golden child bidding farewell. I'm not too sure if Daddy and my eldest brother cried - my eyes were to blur to see anything. But i do know my sister was sobbing as bad as me.

We were just standing still until he took the escalator down, walked to the immigration control gate and until he waved his last goodbye.

The weird thing was....it was us adults that were emotional - the kids were fine. They were too engrossed with the chocolates in hand. Well maybe they dont understand just yet especially the little one.Ii hope everything goes well for him over there.

Hmmm maybe i should plan a trip to Dubai sometime next year.

silent reverie 11:28 AM
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22 October 2007

Raya continuation
Some pictures that i didn't get to post earlier...

Went back to Batu Pahat on the 1st daya Raya petang. Spent the whole morning at Mom's place in PJ. I was kinda sad to leave my parents on the first day Raya. Last time, all of us would be there for at least a week - with the kids running and screaming around... but what's left for this year? All of us had to do our due diligence by visiting the in-laws. Anyhow... did not take many photos in BP tho. I didnt have time to snap photos coz I was busy helping out in the kitchen. Ye lah takkan nak dok goyang kaki kan? As usual, the makcik2 asked "dah pregnant ke lom" and rubbed my tummy. To have someone ask and do that act one time is ok, but if there are like 10 different aunties and 10 times to do that on me... i'm kinda annoyed. And my usual reply is, hmmm belum ada rezeki lagi. Nanti bila dah ada, saya hantar sms yeee... I hope that did not sound rude.
Budak ini sgt comel. She's the 9th child out of 9 siblings! I didnt know zaman sekarang pun org beranak more than 5. She's only 2 years old but she knows how to construct a proper sentence. She was trying to pour her own drink and she mumbled "Nobody cares about me". I was speechless...
Me and the anak2 mat saleh in Batu Pahat.
And last weekend was the kenduri doa selamat for my brother who is leaving for Dubai this Saturday. After the small little prayer, we had a small makan2 too - just families and neighbours. At Mama's in PJ.


One of my nephew who is gonna leave for Dubai soon. I wonder if he's going to be able to remember us when he comes back.

Ouuchh got something in my eye....

The other nephew. The eldest brother of the above.

The other brother.

The kids enjoying their karaoke session. The hit number was the Barney song. I love you, you love me, we're best friends as friends should be.... and I cant remember the rest.
Oh it was also Mama & Daddy's 40th Anniversary!!! 40 years. I cried a little during the doa recital. Somehow it was touching. 40 years - still strong and going on strong.
Some of the guests on that day.

Ahhh my high school mates. Due to my absent minded-ness and my lack of time in sms-ing, I apologize if I had not invited anyone else. But I'll do another round of this makan2 soon.







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silent reverie 11:02 PM
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18 October 2007

My Celebrity-Look Alikes
Here are my celebrity look-alikes! Hehe. Can my husband look like Brad Pitt then? :p


silent reverie 2:49 PM
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16 October 2007

Raya Pictures
This year's Raya was just average...yet touching. Touching in the sense that:
1) The clan is not complete. My second brother and wife and kids celebrated Raya at my sister-in-laws side. And my youngest brother had to work! Busy flying people who wanted to go back to their own kampung for Raya but he couldn't fly himself to his own house for Raya. So we were short of 6 family members :(
2) The first time I saw my mom cried masa salam Raya. Usually she was the 'tough' one.
3) The first time I celebrated Raya as somebody's wife. The mintak ampun part was without words but tears.

Anyhow, some pictures on this year's Raya...

The incomplete family picture. Terror jugak Bibik amik gambar.

My so preggie older sister in blue and my eldest sister in law with her kids in green.

Me and hubby opt for brown this year. Shit I look fat in this picture. Damn the baju.


My favorite nieces with their favorite aunt. =)

My nephew wondered where the heck did the other boys go - my 3 other nephews.

They say that this picture looks so much like my sister and I when were kids! Alma in blue looks like my sister and Alya in green looks like me. I dont know...
There are more pictures...guess I'll update more later.

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silent reverie 4:57 PM
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10 October 2007

raya blues
My second older brother is going to work in Dubai for the next 3 years. He’s leaving after Raya. My sister in-law and their kids will be there too…next year onwards. And this year will be the last Raya until we all get to spend Raya together again. I’m utterly sad. There are so many morbid thoughts and feelings that come along in that sentence of ‘last Raya’… I hate myself for even having those morbid thoughts.

This year will also be my first Raya with the in-laws. Yes we get along very well indeed, but I don’t know…the feeling of not celebrating Raya with my own next of kin. My flesh and blood. It breaks me.

I wasn’t any of the above when I was younger. I did spend my Raya away from my family when I was back in NZ. The year that I didn’t go back coz I wanted to spend the summer. The year that we all went go-karting after Raya prayers. I actually felt fine. I was happy. Of course I cried a little when Mama called and when everyone spoke to me…but I was literally fine after that. It was only during that emotional moment of saying ‘Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin’. Ahhh it happens every year di pagi raya.

Am I growing to be more sensitive as I grow older?

I had this conversation with my nephews last weekend.

Me: Nanti nak pergi mana dgn Daddy?
Nephew #1 age 3: Pergi Arab…and he pulled a long face, arms folded.
Nephew #2 age 10: Tapi Arab selalu perang. Kenapa Daddy kena pergi sana?
Me: Ohh tapi Dubai ni takder perang. Tempat dia mcm KL (I don’t know but I guess I have to compare with something)
Nephew 3# age 7: Tak nak pergi lah. Mesti tak best. Aqil nak duduk sini kat rumah Wan. Aqil nak jadi prefect kat sekolah. I want to stay here in KL.

My heart plunged with sadness. I looked away, trying hard not to cry. We hugged and kissed good nights. I’m so gonna miss them.

Anyway, Raya is just around the corner. The routine every year would be, gather at Mom’s place malam raya, buat apa yg patut, main bunga api and mercun (yes I still do dan juga abang2 saya dan adik lelaki saya). Afti, if you’re reading this, kitorang la yg selalu memekak every year kat depan your house main mercun malam2. Sorry hehe.

Selamat Hari Raya everyone. Maaf Zahir Batin.

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silent reverie 2:38 PM
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09 October 2007

short talk
before this, i sang the song "Me Love" from Sean Kingston like this:

"I feel like I'm drowning in the ocean. Sawadeeka and take me away"...

I knew there was something wrong with that sentence...but I swore that I really heard him saying that.

Until this morning I heard it loud and clear:

"I feel like I'm drowning in the ocean. Somebody come and take me away"...

silent reverie 12:43 PM
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08 October 2007


i have not been in touch with a lot of people lately. i dont know...maybe it was the workload...maybe it's the laziness...and i really feel bad. i even have not visited my girlfriend who had given birth recently. and she named me as her child's godmother sometime ago. and i have not visited her just yet. i'm so sorry dear. i really am sorry. i will go buy my godchild a super nice baby gift and i'll be off to your place real soon ok, i so promise that.


today, i managed to find some time to touch base with some of my dear friends...was chatting with keri...one of my favorite guys. yes i have a few favorite guys in my list, whom are my good friends from school days, uni days and also working days. i miss the good old days.


some excerpt from ninie-keri chat session:


Confirmed! says: somehow after u kawin
Confirmed! says: i really feel like
Confirmed! says: lost you as a fren
~ninie~ says: i know...i feel it too
~ninie~ says: i feel like i dont have that many friends anymore
~ninie~ says:altho azman never said that i cannot hang out with friends…i just don’t know what happened
Confirmed! says: dulu kita minum petang
Confirmed! says: confirm once a week
Confirmed! says: then lunch
~ninie~ says: maybe things are rather different...now and then
Confirmed! says: and remember emails
~ninie~ says: yea those emails yg ramai2 reply
Confirmed! says: in fact u even called my office
Confirmed! says: my colleague - mike
Confirmed! says: suka dgr ur voice
~ninie~ says: and he thot that i was yr gf rite
Confirmed! says: yeah hahahah
~ninie~ says: i really missed u guys...hanging out with u guys especially
~ninie~ says: and i meant this…me being the only girl...the rose among the thorns
Confirmed! says: gelak tak ingat
Confirmed! says: yeah we love it too
~ninie~ says: those were the best times ever

yes i miss those times. ever since i cannot remember when...things have changed. some of got married, some of us now have babies...maybe our priorities changed? no...i dont want things to change. i want things to be the same. i want to go back to the time when we were all only 25. it's been 2 years...not that i dont like the things that had happened in the last 2 years...but i just wonder why cant we all remain the same as it was 2 years ago?

one of those times...




silent reverie 1:48 PM
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the last trip
the Estee Lauder makup set




the dress.
my first red shoes.

the hotel room

so lazy to write more...not in a mood. it's monday.

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silent reverie 1:26 PM
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04 October 2007


It’s probably this tiredness feeling that makes me a very un-friendly person today.

Got home late last nite, thanks to the MH flight for being delayed for 2 freaking hours! And this is not the first delayed flight this whole entire week for them. Buck up you people! In total, I waited for 3.5hours in the airport doing absolutely nothing.

By the time I reached home, it was already 1am. He was fast asleep. I just changed into my PJ and crashed out. He probably did wake me up before he went to work, but I just couldn’t get my eyes open. Couldn’t really remember what he said…probably something about tak buka puasa together tonight or some sort. I slept again and when I woke up…dang!!! It’s 10.30am! I just wanted to call in sick but I’ve got to finish up a report. Waltz in into the office bout 12pm just now…

I have not said hello or smiled to anyone in the office today. They’re probably thinking what is up with this bitch today. Like I care.

A few recent events that happened between family, friends and peers boggled up my mind. Don’t know how to express it in words. All I know is…I don’t want to deal with it right now. I’m just weak to deal with it now.

He said to me before: you selalu simpan dlm hati sbb tu u selalu makan hati.

He’s probably right. Or he is right. I hate it when he’s right.

Okay…one at a time. Take a number and wait for your turn.

Now I want to buy some food. I’m probably just grumpy cause I’m hungry. Most people are like that, aren’t they? Or maybe it’s just me.

Ahhh I still forgot to bring the cable to transfer the pictures!

silent reverie 12:55 PM
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03 October 2007

the one where my credit card declined on me!
It’s 12.25am and I can’t sleep. Just came back from supper with Angie. Had a nasi goreng ayam sambal, and the nasi goreng turned out to be this super chili red colour rice that freaked me out a little. And then I glanced over another table where this girl ordered a mee goreng, and the noodle also was in a super chili red colour! Eh kenapa la semua makanan pun kaler merah kat sini? But since I was really hungry (despite of tak puasa)…but it was my first meal for the entire day…and I only had it at 10.30pm! So lapar punya pasal, makan je lah nasi kaler merah.

My work in transferring the knowledge to the new person is practically done! I wrapped everything up in a day only! I hope I’ve not missed anything though. And after this, I really cant wait to wash my hands clean off this whole shit.

Checked in at the hotel at about 6pm. I like this hotel I’m staying at. Due to the high occupancy at the hotel, they upgraded me to a slightly bigger room. I loike!! The super king size bed will be mine the entire nite. The flat screen TV mounted on the wall. There’s free broadband and also free minibar (which is only filled with gassy drinks) but I think that’s just so fine. Ohhh and what I like most is…the see-through bathroom! Yes there’s this huge glass in between the bedroom and the bathroom and if I were to bathe naked and draw my curtains open, people from the next building can see right through the windows! Yes it does look a bit kinky…but since I’m staying alone…takkan nak kinky sorang2?

Rested for a while, golek sana sini, checked my mails and then headed to the Far East Plaza. I wanted to buy some tops from this shop where all tops are sold at $9!!! But they were closed! And it was only 8pm! And then I ended up buying a printed dress that I really like. It’s $28 for 1, $45 for 2. I bought only 1, I should have bought 2!!! Then I headed to Takashimaya – waited for Angie. I was entertained by the street performers…they were cool actually. Then when Angie came, we went inside Taka and she bought some stuff from Estee Lauder. Estee is giving out special Christmas gifts right now (yeah I know it’s still early…even Raya pun belum lagi). The promotion is…buy any Estee Lauder perfume, and you will get the gift pack (which is worth over $500) for only $98!!! I’m like…darn that’s freaking cheap although it’s not in Ringgit. Ala…kali 2.3 adalah dlm 200+.

The gift pack consists of 3 lipsticks, 3 gloss, 1 set of eyeshadows (cant remember how many colours), 1 set of cheek blushers in 4 or 5 colours, eyeliners, mascara, make-up bag and also the brushes! So worth it kan? I love make ups! It’s like my all-time favorite toy! I was toying with the idea to get one for myself. I mean, I can just get the smallest bottle of Pleasures perfume and just give it to Mama as a Raya gift apart from the jubah that I bought recently. All I want is the make-up set! Angie bought one and I was like…aarrgghhh saya nak juga (damn Angie why did you have to bring me to Taka?)! But I know that if I buy, hubby would always say that I like to membazir! But since he’s planning to buy new sunnies and also an expensive watch that he’s been eyeing for quite sometime…I think getting myself a make-up set is also a retreat for myself. So I also bought dengan hati yang girang. And then suddenly, time nak bayar, they said my credit card declined! Shit! Takkan la I don’t have sufficient funds? Couldn’t be what…I just paid a huge amount before I came here! The card was declined for several times. This time I got a little bit pissed. And neither Angie nor I have enough cash, so I had to excuse myself from paying! Was a little embarrassed with that situation and we stepped aside.

Angie: So macamana…do you still wanna buy?
Me: Well…I like that thing. I want I want I want. But how come my credit card decline? I’ve cleared some of my outstanding amount already! Hmmm maybe it’s a sign to say that I’m shopping too much…and that I should not get the makeup.
Angie: Well we can go to the ATM and withdraw…else we can just walk away and never ever come here again.
Me: But this is the perfect gift for myself! I mean I have no problems to withdraw…but shit la…naper credit card decline? Jahat la Maybank!
Angie: Ala maybe they hold the amount coz you swiped at the hotel tadi tak?
Me: Errrr maybe…but takkan la they hold so much? Teruk la!

I withdrew money anyway. And when we wanted to go back to the counter, most entrance was closed! Then I realized that Taka closes at 9.30pm. I literally begged the doorman to let me in coz I wanted to go pay. He unlocked the door and I paid for my toy…

Walked back to the hotel to put the stuff in the room. And hubby rang.

Hubby: U kat ner?
Me: Tgh jalan balik hotel.
Hubby: Shopping tak?
Me: Errrr…taklah. Takder...mana ader.
Hubby: For real? Tipuuuuuuu….
Me: Shucks…did you put a tracking device on me or something?
Hubby: Hah! I knew it. What did you buy this time? The whole of Orchard?
Me: Nanti I tunjuk lah. See you tomorrow nite. Bye hunn!

I didn’t dare to tell him bout the credit card incident. I plan to keep quiet.

He’s so gonna pop his eyes out when he sees the make-up set. I just bought some stuff from Mac few days back. And from my 2 months stay in Singapore, I came with only 3 pairs of shoes, but I when I went back home for good, I went back with 13 pairs! Which meant…I bought 10 pairs of shoes in the whole 2 months! And I got an earful from him for that. Yes I know I must stop with all these sifat membazir…but susahlah…help!!!

I snapped photos of the hotel room, the barang2 that I bought…and then I realized…I didn’t bring my cable to transfer the picture. So next post aje nanti.

Ohh and did I mention that I threw one side of my shoe at a cab this morning? Well I took the taxi from the airport, put my luggage in the trunk. When I got down at the office, I went right to the back of the cab to take my luggage out, but the driver drove away…with my luggage still in the trunk! I ran to stop the cab…and I was afraid that I couldn’t catch up, I took off one side of my shoe and threw and it hit the trunk. Bulls eye! The cab driver came out from the car…wanting to scold me…until he realized that my luggage was still in the trunk. So not my fault rite. After all I didn’t scratch his cab nor damage anything. The only thing that’s damaged rite now is probably my shoe!

Sigh…if only someone had captured that on camera…that would be seriously hilarious!
Kih kih kih.

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silent reverie 1:22 AM
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