Labels: Conggo, Motherhood

It's my 40th confinement day and somehow time passes by so slowly to my last day of confinement period. Time is evil!

Well at the very least, I'm eating normal food finally! Since I no longer pump my milk, mom allows me to take spicy food a little bit. I'm still trying to familiarize myself with the spice taste after staying away from it for the last 39 days. I can't wait to taste bibik's nasi lemak, asam pedas, gulai lemak cili api and all that. What would I do without good food?

BUT...makan, makan jugak. I'm still not able to lose the weight I've gained since pregnancy. What worry me the most is...I can't fit into my work clothes. Coz seriously...if I'm not able to fit into my work clothes before I get back to work...I'm doomed! Buy new ones? Berapa banyak nak kena beli la nanti...sob sob. All my suits, my shirts, skirts and pants...sigh.

I'm thinking to add on more days for the urut. I've completed all the 15 sessions by week 4, and I have another 3 more sessions scheduled this week. Perhaps the kakak urut can so some wonders before I get back to work? Yes please oh please.

Labels: Confinement

Cheeky Girl
My little angel's latest looks...

Labels: Conggo

My Journey #4: The One with the not-so-good-food
Today is my 34th day in confinement and I can't wait til the last day which is the 44th day. Let's just say...I cannot stand it anymore.

I'm bored with the food that are served everyday. If it's not fish/chicken soup, then it's steam fish. Occassionally there is ikan bakar...but it's not the juicy ikan bakar with sambal/kicap pedas, this one is rather dry...and bland. But one good thing, I'm eating vegetables everyday...lunch and dinner, without fail. So hopefully my complexion will improve somewhat.

The first 2 weeks, I stayed in my room, day and night. I never walked down the stairs, mainly because I was still weak. By the 3rd week I felt better so I stayed in the living room the whole day and walked around in the house for a bit. Then I had all my meals with everyone else instead of eating alone in my room. So that was when I got emotional when everyone else were having good food and I had my normal bland food. At one time, I shed tears at the dining table coz they were all having ayam percik and ikan asam pedas. Hahaha...ntah apa2 ntah...itu pun nak nangis.

Now let's move on to my weight loss program. Hmmm...I'm not too sure whether my eyes are playing the tricks on me or the weighing machine is. I'll wait till the 28th July where I'm scheduled to see my gynae for a post natal check up, and I'll weigh myself there since I trust that the weighing machine there is pretty accurate.

Until then...

My Journey #3: The One with the Post Natal Blues
A few friends called and asked how I was doing? I said that the first 2 weeks were depressing. They had a negartive perception when I said I was depressed. They thought I was not happy with the birth of my baby (How can I not be happy? Please...that is so ridiculous for me not to be happy!!!). OK, so I am one of the many women in this world who suffered from postpartum depression after pregnancy. They say it's caused by hormonal changes, hence the depression. But I'm feeling better now, in fact I feel great (oh minus all the lack of sleep and good food), but I'm trying to deal with it. It's part and parcel of becoming a mom and also being in pantang.

As I said the first 2 weeks were depressing. But I dont really know what I was unhappy about. Maybe because they were too many, right from my mother being too instructive and nosy (she always always enters my room without knocking), to my husband had to go back to work when I needed him the most (oh and not to mention that he went to Jakarta in the 2nd week after I gave birth). I was also angry at my sister because she delayed in finding a maid to take care of her kids, hence she 'borrowed' mine since 2 months ago...and now the maid is doing alot more for her than for me! I was also pissed at some other people who held my baby in their arms without washing their hands, shaked my baby too hard, touched her head (ubun-ubun), called my baby "Hoi" (although in a baby language way) but still...my baby has a name! There were alot of times when I sat in my room and I cried for no reason. And I hate it when I was so depressed, most people were just being too ignorant.

Oh well, that episode is all over now, and I'm glad I am my normal self again.

Labels: Birth, feeling blue, Motherhood

My Journey #2: The One with the Breastfeeding
Who says that being a mom is an easy job? It's even harder than writing a competency dictionary.

And who says breast feeding is an easy task? Until today I have not been successful at breast feeding. The only time I breast fed her when we were still at the hospital, with the help of the Lactation Consultant, or at least that was what was written on her name tag.

From the day Ayriss was born, too many people had taught me how to breast feed. So just imagine how many people had fondled with my breasts (and it was not a very nice experience if you ask me). If there were 10 different people, there were 10 different ways. But neither way worked for me and the baby.

So...I had no choice but to bottle feed her. Expressing my milk has become an activity that I can do with my eyes closed. But since the baby is not drinking straight from the "factory", I find that my milk is getting lesser by the day. I do give her formula milk to go with it, and I've had enough of people telling me "don't give up to breast feed", "mother's milk is the best" bla bla bla... yes I know all that well, but I could not provide that. At least, she still drinks the milk I expressed... So long as the milk is still there, I'll keep feeding her.

The episode of breast feeding was something that I'd never forget. The times I cried when she didn't want to suck, or when Mom was comparing how my sister could breast feed so well and I couldn't...or how did other people do it vs. the way I did it...OH MY GOD...I just wanted to scream at everyone who was around me at that time.

Well, Ayriss is happy drinking from the bottle, the flow is faster, and she's put on weight. So I'm happy.

Labels: Motherhood

My Journey #1
I was told that masa pantang, tak boleh duduk depan computer lama2, nanti mata jadi tak terang. And I dont want to be wearing spectacles or contact lenses coz of that. So I'm gonna type this as fast as I can.

I mentioned that I wanted to write my labour story right from the very beginning. Well let's just say that I was still working and driving around on the very last day until I gave birth. In fact, I even went for a client meeting on Friday morning 13th June...and yes, I felt that contraction pain during the meeting. It felt like...I was having this mild period pain. While on a 5-min loo break, I called my sister...and I described the pain. She said that is the kind of pain so to say. But the contraction was not severe and it didn't occur every 2-3mins as how people would normally say it's time to give birth. I casually finished the meeting, drove myself to Mama's, had lunch and slept. At nite, hubby came and fetched me as I said I was scared to drive.

The next day, envisioning that I would give birth soon, I went for a makan2 blast, had all the things I wanted, complete meal of breakfast with my roti canai, teh tarik, then later had nasi daun pisang, KFC, and a few other things. The pain was on going but I kinda ignored it. At nite, we were going out for dinner and that was when I felt the pain was really severe and I timed it...every 5 mins.

He panicked. Terus tak jadi gi dinner. We went home, took my hospital bag, changed cars, and we were off to SJMC. Got there around 9pm, the nurses did their routine check up...and yup I've already dilated. I panicked. Mom & Dad were there after an hour. The nurses said that I've to be monitored (like duh, I don't wanna go home and give birth dlm kereta). So we stayed in the labour room the whole nite.

To cut long story short, I was in labour for 12 hours as I only gave birth 9am the next day. I took epidural for pain relief (but the procedure itself was like...OMG!!!), I felt numb immediately after and the next thing I knew, I woke up at 8am the next day and asked the nurse if my doctor was already there. Doc came at 8.45am, and they got me ready in position etc, and boy...it was the most scary experience ever.

I listened to my doc and the nurses and my hubby's voice to know what to do as I didnt feel the pain...and it took me about 12 pushes to get Ayriss out.

When she came out, I immediately asked... "it's a girl, rite?" I knew it all along, I just wanted re-confirmation. :)

I obviously cried. It was the tears of joy. It was like, oh I cannot believe that I've just a delivered a human being where someday she's gonna be like me (hehe).

I managed to glance over at him, his eyes were watery too. He gave me 2 thumbs up and he immediately attended to the baby. I heard him saying prayers and also qamat on Ayriss' right ear.

So...that was easy. I did it.

Next would be...raising her up. Together with him. It's the 3 of us now.

...to be continued...

Labels: Birth, Conggo

I'm a MOM!!!
Hello...

How do I begin this entry? Well...I've given birth to a lovely baby girl on the 15th June 2008. Conggo was born 15days early...and we've named her Ayriss Rihanna. So, everyone...meet Ayriss...

She's now 2 weeks old and this was her recent photo.

There are just so many things I want to write...starting right from when I felt the contraction, to the journey to the hospital, in the labour room, during birth, after birth and the days after that...the post natal blues.

But probbaly that will be in the next update as I can hear Ayriss's little voice asking for milk. It's feeding time.

Till the next time.

Labels: Conggo

i'm a klutz
Here I am sitting in my living room, in hubby’s baggy t-shirt and my maternity panty. Seriously, they are the only things that are comfortable to wear right now. Sometimes I wish I can go out just like that coz I complained way too much when the pants don’t fit, or I keep on wearing the same pants all over again. As he had always put it, “ala, u pregnant...org tak kisah la u selekeh ke apa”, when one night we were going out for dinner at Royal Bintang. He wore his Raoul shirt, jeans and formal black shoes. While I wore my sweatpants, a baggy top, flats, and the most classical style of all – I wore my cardigan inside out!!! What a “match”!!

I obviously did not notice that I wore my cardigan inside out...and he didn’t say anything either! It was when his friend’s wife whispered to me that my cardie was worn inside out. I was like...shit...camner nak cover malu ni? So I laughed to myself...and said “ohh biasa la being pregnant...always forgetful”, and I excused myself to the ladies. Not sure if he was embarrassed or not...if he did...I’m so sorry dear. Well you said no one would care I selekeh ke tak.

Another incident last month, we were shopping at MidValley and I told him I need to rest for a bit before continuing our mission for that day. So we both stopped for a short rest, took a seat in front of MPH and then he started laughing.

I was like...errr okay what’s so funny?
Then he said “you”.
What did I do that’s so funny?
Look at your feet. You’re wearing 2 wrong pairs of slippers!

I looked down...and dang...there it was...yup 2 wrong pairs! As in like 2 different designs! Though they were both black in colour, they were both flats, but one has got a flower, and the other one has a butterfly on it! And as usual, I laughed...laughed so hard until tears came out. Nasib baik tears, if baby terus keluar...how? While other people might have just gone home straight or buy new pair of slippers, but I continued shopping...and nope I didn’t buy a new pair of slippers too.

I wonder what other funny things I can come up with without even me knowing.

It's 3pm and I still have not taken my bath since morning. One good thing about working from home is that, no one cares if you've showered or not. Perhaps I should just bathe at 6pm. Before he comes back. And I save water from bathing so many times. And considering that yes I do take a long time to shower...so today I can save water. Whatever.

I have approx 15 more days to "D" day... I'm freaking out...but I'm also very excited.

Yawn...I'm sleepy. Perhaps it's time for a short afternoon nap.