Losing Weight

Labels: among other things, diet, life

My daily fix
The tea lady was on half day leave today. She wasn’t in in the morning. Everybody went berserk like… “Mana ah-yong? Nak kopi!!!”. “Naper ah-yong cuti? Sapa nak wat air?”.

In the afternoon at 3pm, I heard the sound of Ah-Yong’s trolley. I was like… “Ah yong dtg!!!”. And everyone else was like…

“Ha, yong…ingat u takde dtg. Byk haus woh”
“Yong, baru masuk ka?”
“Takda minum Yong punya kopi tak boleh buat kerja la pagi”
“Yong, mana u pegi? U takda byk susah la”.

You see, her presence cheers us up. We all cannot focus in the morning when she didn’t fix us our morning drinks. We are all just plain lazy to walk downstairs to buy coffee/tea at the café, very lazy to take the lift to go to pantry and fix our own coffee. We are so dependent on her. Aren’t we all so spoilt?

Labels: among other things

Wanting to be a SuperMom
I know I should not be making excuses about why I have not been blogging. Truth is, I don’t even know if anyone ever reads this.

But I see my blog as a place for me to leash things that are boiling inside me. Sometimes it’s personal, sometimes it’s just plain whining.

You know, of late, I have this feeling inside me that I don’t want to do anything in my life. I just want to stay quietly at home and enjoy my time with my mini me. I feel sad when I have to leave her in the morning to go to work. I feel sad at work when I know I’m missing out on her everyday developments. Like I may not be the first to hear her say “mummy”, or see her takes her first steps, or see her facial expressions. Those things matter to me, and I feel less of a mother when I cannot be there for her every first things.

Some say, take a break from work. Wow I love that idea. But when I’m ready to come back to work in say…2-3 years time, what if I’ve missed out on my own career development? I don’t want to have the same position as I did before I quit. To add more salt to the wound, the economic turmoil now is worrying. Some have lost their jobs and many others are fighting to keep theirs. I know I have to be thankful for the blessings I have in my life for now, quitting now is not an option. But what about my baby? She needs me. I need to be with her. I’m cutting hours at work as much as I can, bringing work home, work at nights, but that would leave me feeling so tired the next day. Sometimes I wish I can be a supermom. I want to be a career woman. I want to be the mother than can focus on her child all the time. I want to be able to still do the house chores and be like other housewives who cook for their husbands. I want to have it all, but I guess, I can’t, can I?

Labels: feeling blue, Motherhood

Mummy-daughter picture perfect.

Labels: My Doll

I'm having the worst Monday blues ever.


Hehe.

I wish...
I know I'm a disappointment sometimes. I just wish you knew how hard I've tried - trying to live up to your expectations.

Sometimes I wish that you'd think before you say anything, and consider my feelings too. I just wish you knew that words can really hurt someone.

Labels: feeling blue

• He left to the States last Saturday, my thinking orientation failed to work ever since. It’s like as if I could not function well without him telling me what to do. Shows how much I’ve become too dependent on him, even when it comes to the simplest thing. I hate being too dependent…and he spoiled me for being too dependent.
  



• Ayriss and I moved back to mom’s place in PJ – since Ayriss’ daddy won’t be around for the next 3 weeks. We both missed him so dearly. I still cry myself to sleep whenever he goes overseas for work. Where as for the little one, for the past 2 mornings, the first thing she said after she’s woken up from sleep was “papapapapa”. Maybe she’s just mumbling to herself, she speaks baby language anyway. Sometimes it’s “mamamama” (but does that mean she was calling mama)? Sometimes it’s just her high pitch voice of “aaaahhhh”, calling whoever is near her. But I know she misses her daddy as whenever I show her videos that her daddy earlier recorded (just for the purpose of showing the video to Ayriss in his absence), she would jilat the phone screen (maybe she wanted to give her daddy a kiss)?
  



• Boss is serving her last few days in the office. Up to now, we haven’t heard of who will be replacing her. I hope and pray it’s someone who I can work with. For her farewell party, I'm ordering cuppies from a good friend - Sue. I designed the cuppies myself, so she'll bake and copy the designs as best as she can. (omg aku ckp mcm aku ni pandai sgt design cupcakes, or macam la design tu cantik)
  



• This is my babe in a mini cutie tudung. Comel tak? Many people asked if she was wearing a pink lipstick? No, she wasn’t. That’s her own natural lip colour. It looked glossy because of her air liur.

Labels: among other things, designs, my better half, My Doll

Wasting time on a Friday evening
My face shape is square. Well Sandra Bullock’s face shape is square too. And she’s pretty.

1. Lots of things have happened, and I somehow got lost in the middle.
2. The plan to stay at the new house has got to be postponed, when at the last minute, the contractor that was supposed to install our cabinets and part of our roof cover - disappeared! I wonder what had happened to our luck. It’s been a week that the 3 of us are living out of suitcases at Mama’s place.
3. At work, more unexpected things occurred. I’m learning how to deal with it, and have got to accept the fact that I may be reporting to someone I don’t like and can hardly work with. Why boss, why? Why do you have to go? Why do you have to go at this time when I’ve finally felt like I belonged?
4. The problem I have all the time is letting go.
5. I wonder what happened to those times when I could call my best friends just to bitch or yak and we’d yak and yak ‘til the cows come home. But over time, things have changed, and have we too?
6. I fear losing the people I love. I cannot imagine myself living without them.
7. I’ve always wondered if I’m remembered. For whom I am and what I’ve done to make a difference in other people’s lives. Sometimes I don’t get the indication that I am being remembered.
8. I rarely get along with girls that share the same star sign as me. But I do get along with guys with any star signs.
9. What is happening with the economic turmoil is alarming and frightening. I just hope and pray that none of us are affected by it – let us keep our jobs, and continue to be able to provide for the family. Tough times like forces companies to be selective about workforce, pay and benefit cuts.
10. My whole body is aching. Probably because of the tiny space I get every night on the bed. The tiny little girl that sleeps in between us takes up ½ of the bed space. She hardly sleeps in her cot anymore.
11. I so need a retail therapy.
12. I need new clothes, new handbag(s), new shoes, new accessories.
13. He’s leaving to the States next week for 20 days. Take me, take me, take me please.
14. I need to find a traffic-free route to work from my new home. Maybe I’ll go explore later during lunch. Ohhh lupa pulak tak bwk GPS.
15. Oh yes, I’m on a self-diet program that I don’t even know if it’s ever going to work. Is the weighing scale playing tricks on me?
16. I’m beginning to like writing entries in point forms.
17. I want to learn how to bake cup cakes. Sue, will you teach me?
18. I’m confused with times. My wrist watch is 10 minutes faster than my laptop clock. My digital clock on the desk is 10 minutes faster than my wrist watch.
19. I have a lot of work to do. But I’m just so lazy to start putting on my thinking cap and prepare the M-plan presentation. I don’t even know where to start.
20. They are putting me in-charge to organize the farewell makan2 for Boss. Little do they know that I suck big time in planning and organizing. Hah! And I claim that I have good Project Management skills all this while.

Moving Out